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20 things you’ll never hear mothers of young children say

'This school holiday activity is reasonably priced.'

1 “Even after three years, the backseat of my minivan still looks brand new!”

2 “I finished that book in one day.”

3 “I get a real sense of satisfaction from making school lunches.”

4 “You want the large Coca-Cola? Sure, go for it.”

5 “Getting up at 5am makes me feel so ALIVE!”

6 “I’ve always wanted crayon art on my walls.”

7 “I’m so looking forward to getting in the open-air swimming pool with my toddler.”

8 “It’s gone very quiet; the children must be reading.”

9 “I’ll take the kids clothes shopping with me; they’ll love it.”

10 “That Nerf gun was money well spent. We have such fun with it!”

11 “I feel like I haven’t been to enough birthday parties this year.”

12 “This school holiday activity is reasonably priced.”

13 “Oh good, it’s raining.”

14 “My baby looks far more beautiful awake than sleeping.”

15 “I find Cartoon Network a really soothing background noise.”

16 “Everything went so smoothly this morning.”

17 “Wine? Ugh, I prefer green tea.”

18 “I have nothing to do; I’ll just lie down on the couch for a while.”

19 “I think I’ll go for an all-white ensemble today.”

20 “Stepping on Lego is like a little massage for my feet.”

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