While the innate characteristics of a person are often fixed: intelligence, extraversion and attractiveness, qualities such as approachability, humility and positivity are all flexible skills that can improve with effort.
Becoming a bit more likeable might just be good for your wallet as well.
The surprising benefits of reading
Research data shows that people who possess these skills aren’t just highly likeable, they outperform those who don’t by a high margin.
Ninety per cent of top performers have high EQs, and people with high EQs make almost $40,000 more annually than people with low EQs. One EQ point could increase your salary by almost $2000.
So, if you want to pump up your emotional intelligence, start working out with these top tips.
1. Likeable people strive to be genuine and honest. Remember no one likes a fake. People will gravitate towards those who are genuine because they know they can trust them.
Likeable people know who they are, and they’re confident in their own skin. They know what makes them happy, and they don’t try to win people over by making choices they think will make others like them.
2. Listening to others is important. People make the mistake of being so focussed on what they are going to say next, they don’t really hear what’s being said to them at all. They hear the words, but the meaning is lost.
People like to feel listened to, and a simple way to do this is to ask lots of questions. Questions can help to clarify information, and show the other person you genuinely care about what they have to say.
3. Don’t pass judgement. Open-mindedness is essential, especially in the workplace. Being open-minded makes you approachable and interesting to others. With an open mind, you can take on new ideas more easily and ask for help if needed.
Having an open-mind doesn’t mean you embrace another’s beliefs or condone behaviours, but holding back on the judgement will give you a bit more of an opportunity to see why a person thinks, feels, or acts a certain way.
4. Attention seeking is unnecessary. You don’t need to develop a big extroverted personality to be likeable. Being more friendly and considerate is all you need to get people to notice you.
Speaking in a friendly, confident and concise manner will win people over. People catch on to your attitude quickly and are more attracted to the right attitude than what – or how many people – you know.
5. Consistency is really important. People who are inconsistent come across as being all over the place. It makes them hard to deal with, and even harder to gauge what sort of response to expect from them. To be consistent you must be reliable, and you have to make sure that even if your mood goes up or down, it doesn’t affect how you treat people.
While all new skills take a bit of effort to master, even making a bit more of an effort can have positive results. The most important thing to remember though is to have fun and keep learning!
