‘Stop picking on me’
Wellington woman Lesley Drakeford makes no excuses for being overweight – but is sick of being told to lose it by total strangers. Now 100kg, Lesley (52) blames the fatty foods she ate growing up as the source of her weight issues now.
Her parents owned a coffee bar and she says he loved sugary treats after school, such as sticky buns and milkshakes. “I came from the old English school of meat and three vege, and Sunday roasts with bread and butter pudding.”
By the time Lesley was 12 years old, she was 80kg (12.5 stone) and unable to fit normal children’s sizes – her school uniform had to be specially made to fit. “They had to buy material and I had one uniform with the seam up the middle, so you can imagine what that did for the self-esteem,” she says. “I used to get teased that I had two uniforms put together.
“As a teenager, all the pretty ‘slimmies’ got invited to the dance. You didn’t even have to be pretty – you could be ugly and slim.” Despite having tried Weight Watchers 15 times, as well as other diet programmes, Lesley says her excess weight goes straight back on as soon as she stops the programme.
Lesley, who currently works at the Correspondence School in Wellington, has grown to accept her figure, but says she is disappointed at “fat bashing” from some sectors of society, including random strangers.
She recalls a time she was walking down Courtenay Place in Wellington when a man bumped into her and snarled, “Watch out, fat b***h!” Hearing others abuse people who are overweight prompted her to speak out on the issue.
She’s particularly incensed about a radio promotion that asked listeners if they should tell their friends if they needed to lose weight – something Lesley advises against. “That’s pretty insulting,” she says. “There’s too much on TV as well, like The Biggest Loser. There’s this constant pressure to do something about weight.
“I just think things need to be toned down a bit. We are aware that obesity is a problem. A lot of thin people don’t have to watch their weight – they can eat anything they want.” She also points out there is little government funding to help people lose weight.
“There are barriers for anyone who wants to lose weight. There’s the cost of Weight Watchers and there is still GST on fruit and vegetables. There is no incentive or promotion to lose weight, but there’s support for other health issues, such as Quitline for giving up smoking.
“My doctor says the only thing that will work for me is a gastric band. But who’s got $25,000 for that?” Despite going to the gym three times a week to maintain her weight, Lesley admits the truth is she’s
always hungry for more food. “I have a sweet tooth. If I was given the option, I could just sit and eat all day, nonstop. That is the biggest thing to deal with.”
‘Stop picking me up!’
When petite Debbie Dale tells people she eats two dinners a day, they don’t believe her. The 1.56m (5ft 4in) graphic designer has the perfect retort when people ask her if she eats – “not since 1975,” she says.
Apart from a brief period in her late teens, when she tried to bulk up with protein shakes, Debbie is happy with her figure – just not the constant questions about her eating habits. Auckland-based Debbie (44) has a healthy appetite and eats two dinners a day by making enough for lunch the next day.
“When I told a woman at lunchtime that, she just went ‘yeah right’,” says Debbie. “I think people actually believe I go and sick up my lunch.” And Debbie believes people are more likely to comment on her size than they are on someone who is overweight.
“People grab me around the wrists or waist and are happy to tell me how thin I look. I don’t think they are prepared to tell others they look fat. “No-one has asked me if I’m anorexic, but they say, ‘Do you worry about your weight?’”
In bars, Debbie also attracts attention – but not the sort that’s always welcome.“Men will literally come and pick me up. Mostly it’s when they’ve had a few and want to see how high they can lift me.” Jealousy can be a problem too. At one point, Debbie decided it was best to hide her figure. “When I was 13, an older family member kicked me really hard in the back and said, ‘It’s not fair you’re so thin.’
“I don’t care so much anymore. I eat three good meals a day, snacks – pretty much whatever I want. I would be a shocking dieter if I couldn’t put the food I want in my mouth.”
