Photography: Erin Combrinck Photography.
“To have and to hold” is an expression of tenderness and acceptance of the person standing beside you at the end of the aisle. It’s a promise to care for the other and work hard at developing a lifelong bond, without reservation.
For Paul Temperton, who wed Joanne Wills on a clear, winter afternoon in Hastings last month, it was also a commitment to have and to hold her five kids, Peter, five, and three-year-old toddler quads Esther, Lucy, Oliver and Jonathan, raising them in love.
And he’s not in the least bit daunted by that responsibility.
“Yes, you put a lot in, but they give a lot back,” he tells Woman’s Day, beaming.
A beautiful new beginning
Joanne’s first husband Brett died two years ago due to complications arising from a heart defect. Reconnecting with Paul, 54, a former work colleague, while still grieving an enormous loss was the happiest of surprises for Joanne.
And for her second wedding, held on the deck of Number 5 Café, every decision was a celebration of an unexpected partnership that has joined two families – both a fresh start, and a way to acknowledge the deep generosity of a community who has wrapped around her, held her and supported her during some very dark days.
“We kept the focus very much around the fact that this is a new chapter and a new story, rather than looking back on the past,” says Joanne, 39.
Brett was present in small, meaningful ways – in Joanne’s veil, the very same piece she had worn to marry Brett; in the merging of her surname to Temperton-Wills; and, of course, in their five excitable kids, who were dressed in matching outfits to proudly witness the marriage of their mum to “Daddy Two”, the term they use to describe Paul.
Inspired by the sea
The couple chose an ocean theme to reflect who they are. Paul has spent years spearfishing and free-diving, while Joanne grew up sailing and has volunteered for the Hawke’s Bay Coastguard.
“The untamed nature of the ocean is something we both find revitalising,” explains Paul, who proposed to Joanne on Napier’s Bay View beach.
That theme ran through every detail of the day. Driftwood and shells collected from around the region decorated the tables. The wedding cake, made by Joanne’s friend Sarah Nunez of Smiley Bakes, featured ocean-inspired blue frosting over a vanilla sponge. Dried flowers added to the rustic, seaside aesthetic and even the rings, crafted by Napier jeweller Mike Millett, were carried to the bride and groom inside a little wooden boat by Peter – a detail he’d suggested.
In fact, it was the kids who led the procession into the venue – well, most of them.
“I was quite impressed,” laughs Joanne.
“I managed to get four out of five to walk down the aisle. Jonathan didn’t make it – he bumped into a pole and wasn’t in the mood.”
A moment to remember
Preceded by her bridesmaids, school friend Nicola Higginson and the children’s nanny Lucy Balchin, Joanne turned the corner on to the verandah and Paul caught his first glimpse of his wife-to-be.
“It was a wave of emotion – a really magical moment,” he recalls.
“Joanne looked so beautiful. She was perfect and the dress was stunning.”
Their church pastor from Village Baptist, Cameron Jones, officiated the traditional ceremony, punctuated by the occasional interruption of kids chatting “and the pop-pop-pop of them opening their chippie packets”, smiles Paul.
Peter, in fact, had already made his mark on the day before it even began. The night before the wedding, as Paul wrote out notes for his speech, Peter wandered in and asked, “What are you doing, Daddy?”
Words from the heart
When Paul explained, Peter had immediate advice.
“You need to start with a W,” he declared.
“W for welcome. Say, ‘Welcome to our wedding,’ and then you need to say, ‘If you have an invite, you can stay, but if you do not have an invite, you need to go.’”
Paul laughs, “So I used it – it was the perfect start to my speech!”
Two of Paul’s three adult kids were also on hand – Zak was best man and Chad a groomsman.
Zak’s speech drew peals of laughter from the guests.
“I knew Dad would meet someone else eventually,” he told the room.
“I wasn’t expecting the five kids, though!”
Paul’s own address left him momentarily speechless.
“I had the notes, but they just seemed impersonal,” he says.
“So I started speaking about my affection towards Jo, but I was at a loss for words. I was too emotional.”
Finally one family
Describing their intimate wedding as “heartfelt and surreal”, Joanne adds, “When I saw Paul standing there, I just felt peace. I thought, ‘There he is. Now I need to get down there and we’ll be married!’”
The guest list included 22 children, most aged six and under, who busied themselves at a special kids’ table stocked with stickers, colouring sheets and activities, or at the adjoining mini-golf course.
Joanne’s own children “had been looking forward to this moment”, she reveals.
Although she didn’t live with Paul before marriage due to their Christian values, a real relationship has grown between the kids and Paul during the courtship.
“They’ve been expecting and anticipating us all being together, and have recognised that the wedding marked the time we could be a family,” tells Paul.
But not before the all-important honeymoon! After spending their wedding night at boutique accommodation close to where Paul proposed, the newlyweds flew to Brisbane to board a four-night cruise to Airlie Beach – only possible, says Joanne, due to her “amazing family”, who stepped in to take the kids off their hands.
“We were out of contact for most of the trip, which was a strange feeling,” she shares.
“But it was a lovely way to do a honeymoon – we just unpacked our suitcases and relaxed.”
Settling into family life
Now home and settling into their new life, this gorgeous blended family is already looking ahead. There are the monthly dinners Joanne loves, with members of each side of the family coming together to catch up. There’s a summer camping trip booked and the quads’ fourth birthday party in just a few weeks. Life is, as ever, busy but very happy.
“We’re working out our routines,” says Joanne, “but for me, it’s just so nice to have Paul in the house with us. We’re more relaxed because we are all together.”
