As young mum Valeria Tokoar got her son Tyreese’s favourite pyjamas ready for bedtime, she could hear the toddler laughing joyfully. He was playing catch with his dad Rocky oewburn (30), a game the active little boy adored, and his giggles made her smile. But minutes later, those pyjamas would fall from her hands in shock at the sight of Rocky carrying their little boy, unconscious and bleeding, in his shaking arms.
The 20-month-old had slipped out of the gate and down the driveway during a break in the game. He was hit by a relative backing down the driveway, causing massive injuries – little Tyreese didn’t stand a chance. “He was bleeding from his mouth and his breathing got shallower,” says Valeria (23), as she holds Tyreese’s favourite toy, a cute bug-eyed alien. “When the ambulance arrived, they tried to revive him, but it was too late.
“They stopped and asked us if we wanted a few moments with Tyreese. He loved his cuddles and hugging our gorgeous son for that final time, during the last moments of his life, was the hardest thing we’ve ever had to do.” Valeria hesitates and tears begin to fall at the memory of kissing his blond hair and stroking his round, chubby cheeks.
The tragedy, which happened 10 months ago during an overnight stay at Rocky’s mum’s house in Napier, is still raw and extremely painful for the young couple, who have since moved to Auckland from Napier for a fresh start. on that same day, another child was critically injured on a driveway in Flaxmere, just 20km away, and only 30 minutes after Tyreese’s death.
The last 12 months have seen a heartbreaking increase in the number of Kiwi children dying as a result of driveway accidents. At least six died in 2009 – three in the November-December period alone. Each death brings back terrible memories for Tyreese’s parents.
“It really cuts us up,” says Rocky. “People need to be extra careful – drive very slowly, install rear view cameras on bigger vehicles, check mirrors or get someone to keep the driveway clear and make sure gates are secure. Do whatever you can to prevent anything like this happening again.”
The loss of Tyreese has devastated the couple’s family. It’s been especially hard for the relative who ran Tyreese over. But both Valeria and Rocky refuse to blame the driver. “It’s just one of those things… it’s a tragedy,” says Rocky. Instead, the loving parents try to focus on Tyreese as he was in life – a cheeky and energetic little boy who loved the outdoors and motorbikes.
Rocky says he loved spending time with Tyreese, who was the couple’s first child together. Rocky has three children from previous relationships, Savannah (10), Zahn (9) and osirus (5), who live with their mums, and Valeria also has a son, Ashton (4). The couple say all of their children desperately miss the gorgeous little boy, who gave them so many laughs and hugs.
“It’s coming up a year now, and it’s still hard for all of us,” says Valeria. The family have created a small shrine to Tyreese in their home, with favourite photos, his tiny gumboots and a large album, which contains even more pictures, notes from loved ones and a copy of the touching eulogy that Valeria read out at his funeral.
More than 500 people attended the emotional service in Napier to say their goodbyes to Tyreese. “Even though it was very hard for me to speak at his funeral, it was important for me to let everyone know how much Tyreese meant to us,” she says. Rocky and Valeria, who plan to get married in the near future, can only hope that time will heal the pain that they are feeling.
They want to have more children and have vowed to tell them about the special wee boy who made so many people happy. “We’re trying to take the positives out of this,” says Valeria. “It’s brought me and Rocky closer together and it’s made us appreciate our children even more. And it makes me smile to know that my little boy is in a good place.”
Stay safe on driveways
Summer is the season for driveway tragedies. “With warmer weather and kids outdoors, incidents tend to happen,” says Ann Weaver, of Safekids New Zealand. The organisation wants people to remember three key points. “Check no children are in the driveway or can gain access, make sure an adult is supervising all children,” says Anne. “And, if possible, fence off the driveway and install child-proof gates.”
other safety measures:
Attaching mirrors or a camera to the rear of the car.
Using positioning sensors that beep when an object is close.
Keeping back window and sill clear of stickers and objects.
Ensuring your car’s handbrake is firmly on when parked.
