Little Keshia was never your typical preschooler. She was not interested in dolls or watching videos. And although she knew a few words, her two grandmas just thought she was slow at learning to talk. Keshia (4) was one year old when her grandmother, Mereina Ruta, and Mereina’s partner Jody Malam, got full custody of her.
At the time there were three other little girls living in the house and the sound of their squeals and laughter masked Keshia’s silence. What Jody (41) and Mereina (45) didn’t know was that their baby granddaughter was deaf – and it would be another two years before she was diagnosed.
When Keshia started kindergarten, the teachers told her grandmothers they had to yell to get through to her. “Suddenly we realised that we were doing that too, so we started checking what she could hear,” Jody says.
Mereina (left) and Jody say they’ve loved watching Keshia’s progress
Despite taking her to the doctor, it was another year before Keshia’s hearing impairment was confirmed. Because she was able to say some words and hear low tones, doctors believed she might just need grommets. By the time Keshia was teaching herself to lip-read and developing her own form of sign language, including actions for “drink” and “sleep”, Jody and Mereina were convinced she had hearing problems.
When it was confirmed Keshia was deaf to high frequencies and would need a hearing aid, she was two years behind other children developmentally. Jody and Mereina immediately channelled their energy into teaching her how to speak. They will never forget Keshia’s face when she received her government-funded cochlear implant in January.
“It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about when they turned it on. I saw the light in her eyes just flicker and she could hear things she hadn’t heard before,” says Jody, her eyes welling up. Eight months later and Keshia is now only six months behind children of the same age who have normal hearing.
“She’s just started to role play, get dressed up, play with dolls. She loves Hi-5 and Dora [the Explorer]. It’s changed her life. Keshia now will be able to do anything she wants,” Jody smiles. The couple decided to take full custody of Keshia because Mereina’s daughter was only 16 when she had her, and Keshia’s dad has served time in prison and is only entitled to supervised access to his daughter.
Taking over Keshia’s care has been an unexpected joy for the couple, who first met playing rugby league. Mereina was married when she confessed her feelings to Jody – who initially thought it was a joke. “I thought I was being set up because 17 years ago being gay was a big taboo and not everyone liked it, so you were very careful who you told and who you didn’t.”
It was the start of Mereina and Jody’s 16-year relationship. The Auckland-based couple describe themselves as bisexual. “I go for a person who treats me the way I want to be treated,” says Jody. “If they happen to be a man, well, fair enough, and the same goes for women.”
Keshia is now only six months behind children her own age who can hear normally
And Mereina says she never found happiness with a man. “I always knew I was different and it didn’t feel right being with a man. I was more comfortable with women,” says Mereina.
When Mereina’s two children moved in with them a year into their relationship they were discreet with their feelings. “We didn’t throw it in their faces. We acted normally like any couple would. It just happened that we were two women instead of a man and a woman,” says Mereina.
The couple want to share their journey with Keshia with Weekly readers for Loud Shirt Day (September 21), which helps raise money for The Hearing House, a charity for deaf children and their families. “They have outings for the kids and a kindergarten where they have hearing-aid kids as well as normal-hearing kids, who interact and learn from each other,” says Jody.
The couple are thrilled with Keshia’s progress and their role in her life. “We made the choice to take responsibility for Keshia the day we took full custody of her,” Mereina says. “We’ve chosen to take her on and it doesn’t matter what happens – we will be there till the end,” adds Jody.
