It’s the stuff of fairy tales – a trip to a faraway land, love at first sight and a proposal after only three days of knowing the man of her dreams.
But Christchurch couple Melissa and Agbeko DeSouza’s story is no Disney tale; it’s their incredible true love story, complete with their new baby girl!
Melissa’s story begins with her deciding to travel to Ghana in June 2019, following years of participating in a Ghanaian drumming and dance group. When she arrived and met the group of local drummers she would be working with, she locked eyes with Agbeko, 48, and “that was pretty much it”, she smiles.
“It really was love at first sight. We were never really apart from then on and, three days after that first meeting, we decided to spend the rest of our lives together.”
The speed of the relationship came as a surprise to even Melissa, 42, but she says that “when you know, you know”.
“We had such an incredible time getting to know each other, our personalities and our similarities,” she enthuses. “It was such a magical time. I didn’t know a person like Agbe could exist and I’d found him in Ghana. Everything aligned – our personalities, what we wanted from life, how we like to treat others, our spiritual outlook…
“It was intense. Everything around me – the sights, the smells, etc – was so different and then I’m having the most amazing, romantic Disney-esque experience of my life in the middle of it all.”
Agbeko adds, “It was just the biggest feeling of love. We had no control over it and it was just like everything I had ever wished for was coming true.”
What Melissa didn’t quite realise is that the words “engagement” and “marriage” have slightly different meanings in Ghana, with getting engaged “basically being the traditional marriage side of things, and then you’d come back and get married-married later on”, explains Melissa. “So I thought, ‘Why not just do it all now?'”
Hastily filling in her family back in New Zealand – “they went quiet for a bit, but ultimately they were really supportive when they saw how happy we were” – Melissa picked her wedding cloth, figured out the dresses she’d wear and tried her best to learn everything that a Ghanaian wedding entails, before tying the knot with Agbeko only days after meeting.
And while she couldn’t have been happier about being married, Melissa says the hard part came when she had to adapt to living in Ghana because visa issues prevented them both coming back to
New Zealand straightaway.
Their wedding day was a combination of cultures.
After a brief visit back to Christchurch, Melissa returned to Ghana in February 2020 to live with her husband and it was an eye-opening experience.
“The gender roles are a lot more old-fashioned over there, put it that way!” she says. “And since coming back home, I’ve never appreciated a washing machine more. Every single thing was different – the infrastructure, the stability of the government… Everything!
“I was washing by hand, water was never guaranteed… But it was actually good for us because it meant I could really understand Agbe and how he grew up.”
“I was so proud of her,” smiles Agbeko. “She was amazing.”
But after Melissa began battling health issues – glandular fever that turned into chronic fatigue syndrome – and they finally procured a visa, the pair were able to come to New Zealand in 2021 and found
out that they were expecting a baby. Their little girl Yayira was born in April 2022.
“She’s the absolute light of our lives,” says a doting Melissa with a smile.
“It’s so strange to look back and think that I didn’t even know this man four years ago, and we’re now married with a baby. But both of us were so ready for it to happen. We’d both been waiting for such a long time to meet the right person.
“It feels like the biggest advertisement for true love ever – for keeping the faith and holding tight until you find ‘the one’. I just can’t believe that we’ve managed to create this life for ourselves and for each other. I just had to go to Ghana to find it!”
