Falling in love with ultramarathon runner Lisa Tamati, firefighter Haisley O’Leary knew he would need to have a passion for athletics. But he never imagined he’d have to prove himself straight away, with Lisa organising a 50km run for their first date!
“You can learn so much about someone when you do something extreme together like this,” says Lisa, 47, glancing at Haisley with a smile. “I knew if he could survive it and had extra energy afterwards, then he was a keeper.”
Running a distance 8km longer than a marathon on a first date – it took the pair six hours to complete – would be enough to put most men off. But Haisley, 38, wanted to impress the woman he’d fallen head over heels with at first sight.
“I thought it was an awesome challenge to give something like this a go,” he explains. “I’m also glad I was able to keep up with Lisa!”
Now engaged and living together in Lisa’s native New Plymouth, the couple first came into contact three years ago, when Hastings local Haisley wrote to Lisa to ask for advice on doing a 27km charity run in his firefighter’s kit.
“I thought Lisa would be the perfect person to speak with in regards to training in intense conditions,” he says, referring to Lisa’s experience of running long distances in the world’s most hostile environments, including the Sahara Desert.
She was happy to help, and the pair quickly formed a close bond over the phone and via Skype. Although they had never met in person, Lisa confided in Haisley during one of the most desperate and traumatic times of her life.
The couple’s love has endured a miscarriage and family illness, and Lisa is confident it will only get stronger. “Haisley makes me feel safe,” she says.
Two years ago, Lisa was attempting a world-record highest marathon on the slopes of Mount Everest, at an altitude of 5600m. But when the athlete arrived and began preparing for the event, she fell gravely ill with altitude sickness and a serious lung infection.
Sick and away from her family in freezing conditions, Lisa called Haisley in New Zealand every single day to lift her spirits.
“I was in a deep, dark space,” she recalls. “He was super-supportive and we got closer over that time. People expect me to be tough, and I didn’t want to offload my pain and suffering on to my family and friends, but Haisley was someone who understood and was non-judgmental.”
On Lisa’s return, the couple agreed to meet for that infamous first date. After Haisley survived the run, they soon realised they wanted to build a future together, with Haisley getting a job transfer to Taranaki to be with his love.
Lisa’s father Cyril, a retired fireman, was particularly rapt that his daughter had nabbed a firefighter. She smiles, “He’s always said that men in the fire service are real salt of the earth and so he was excited to have one as a son-in-law.”
Lisa’s love of running has rubbed off on Haisley. Last September, he completed his first multi-day ultramarathon, which covered a distance of nearly 300km through a US desert and took seven days in 38-degree heat.
“What I love the most about Lisa is that she brings out the confidence in me,” Haisley reveals as he holds on to Lisa’s hand, which now sports a rather gorgeous ring. He explains that because Lisa is also an experienced jewellery maker, he felt under a lot of pressure to impress when he proposed last year.
“It had to be something special,” he admits, “so I chose an Art Deco design with her favourite stone, tanzanite.”
Haisley planned to propose atop Mount Taranaki, but as soon as he got his girlfriend to the summit, he realised he’d forgotten the ring. “I saw that he was worried and I asked him what was wrong,” Lisa remembers.
“He told me about the proposal and that he didn’t have the ring, but I told him to not let that stop him – it didn’t bother me one bit. He still got down on one knee.”
Two days later, the couple discovered they were expecting a baby. They’d begun trying to start a family as soon as they met, but joy quickly turned to heartache when Lisa suffered a miscarriage just after entering her third trimester.
Haisley gifted his discerning sweetheart with this pretty Art Deco ring.
“We were devastated,” she says. “I’m now too old for IVF, but we’ve considered an egg donor. We really want a family and will explore all the options.”
Going through the trauma has drawn the couple closer together, as has the serious aneurysm Lisa’s mother Isobel suffered earlier this year. Now one of her mum’s full-time carers, Lisa says the love and support she gets from Haisley has helped her get through the tough times.
“He’s so dedicated to our relationship,” she says. “He doesn’t have an ego and isn’t threatened by what I do. He’s a top bloke.”
Despite the pain they have endured, the couple say their upcoming wedding, set for this summer, will be something to look forward to.
“Haisley has settled me down,” tells Lisa. “He makes me feel safe and secure. He loves me for the right reasons.”
