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Brendon & Michelle Pongia: Our love secrets

The Pongias meditate on a year of marriage.

Tucked up next to his wife Michelle in the luxurious Melbourne hotel room where they were celebrating their first wedding anniversary, Brendon Pongia thought nothing could beat the gourmet breakfast in bed they’d just enjoyed.

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“It was just amazing,” he recalls. “We had champagne, freshly squeezed juice, fruit salad, salmon, avocado, poached eggs and roasted tomatoes – all of our favourites cooked to perfection and served in a beautiful setting.”

As Good oorning host Brendon sat savouring the delicious meal, Michelle unfurled a surprise anniversary gift that made the morning even more magical – a handmade collage of paper butterflies that draped across the whole room.

“I was just blown away,” says Brendon (40). “Butterflies were the theme of our wedding day and paper is what you’re supposed to give on a first anniversary. Now, I’m not much of a traditionalist but she had put so much thought into that present and it meant so much to me as a special symbol of our relationship.”

Even more special were the heartfelt messages of love and devotion Michelle had penned across the butterflies’ wings. She explains, “They tell a story about our journey together, from the day we met to where we are now – celebrating 12 months as a happily married husband and wife.”

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one butterfly reads, “You are my soulmate, my dream come true. I couldn’t imagine not having you in my life and waking up with you every day.” on the next, Michelle has written, “You give my life more meaning and purpose. You care for and look after me. You make me smile and laugh, and you give the best kisses and cuddles.”

It’s obvious Brendon feels the same way. Cosying up to his gorgeous wife as they toast their anniversary for a second time at the exclusive Cape Kidnappers luxury resort in the Hawke’s Bay, the former Tall Blacks basketball star tells the Weekly, “I’ve found my life partner. Michelle is such an incredibly loving, selfless person, I’m justlucky to be her husband. It might sound sickening, but when you’ve got something so special, it’s just amazing.”

So what did Brendon give his beloved to mark 365 days since they tied the knot in a fairytale ceremony on near Napier? “A giant crystal,” he reveals. “Michelle’s really into her healing and wellbeing, so I bought her this half-metre high amethyst cave. She just loves crystals because they are beautiful treasures from nature. Theybrighten and energise her environment.

“The problem was, it’s so big, there was no way I could take it to Melbourne. I had to give it to her when we got back, which was a bit of a bummer. But she loves it. I heard a scream when she discovered it. She was speechless and jumping around with a big smile on her face.”

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The massive purple crystal takes pride of place in the couple’s “meditation room”, a corner of their home dedicated to life’s simple pleasures – good books, relaxing music and a comfortable couch. Each day, Brendon and Michelle try to spend at least half-an-hour chatting or just sitting in the room together. They say it’s one of the secrets to their rock-solid bond.

“When we’re in our meditation room, we’re away from the TV and the busyness of life,” says Michelle, who works as an HR manager in the public sector. “It’s really important to us and it’s often the last thing we do before we go to bed at night.”

“It’s a nice, quiet place to reflect,” adds Brendon. “We’re both busy people, so we have to make time for one another. otherwise you grow apart and that’s one thing we don’t want. We’re determined to spend that quality time together.”

Spending time together has become more comfortable since the pair moved into their new apartment in Wellington two months ago. With three bedrooms, a spacious warehouse-style layout and a funky mezzanine floor, it’s a far cry from the one-bedroom bachelor pad Michelle moved into when she arrived back from London to be with Brendon.

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“It was very minimalist,” says Michelle, laughing. “Brendon clearly wasn’t too bothered. He had a bed and a TV, but not much else. We needed somewhere bigger and now that we’ve merged our belongings, it really feels like our home.”

With beautiful antique furniture from India and Indonesia, bowls of fruit and fresh flowers everywhere, it’s fair to say the décor now exhibits a feminine touch.

“It’s nothing to do with me, mate!” laughs Brendon. “I was away on a stag weekend when we moved in, and when I came back, she’d taken over the house. Michelle pays such attention to detail and she has to have beautiful things around her – that’s why she married me!”

But while Michelle clearly wears the pants when it comes to decorating, the couple say they’re careful to share the rest of the household chores equally. “I’ve had issues in past relationships where it’s not fairly divided and it hasn’t worked out,” says Michelle, “so we keep things very evenly balanced. If I’m doing the cooking, he does all the grocery shopping and prepares the food – he’s my sous chef!”

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“We love our fish so I’ll buy it fresh every day,” adds Brendon. “I peel the potatoes, and then clean the dishes while she’s still putting everything together. I’m a bit of a tidy freak – we both are, but I do all the vacuuming. I really love it!”

Before his friendship with Michelle blossomed into romance back in 2008, Brendon was single for five long years. Nowadays, coming home to chat with his wife after a hard day at work makes him feel complete.

He says, “When you live by yourself, you become very independent. With Michelle around, I don’t have to rely on myself alone. I’ve got someone to help me out and to share everything with.

I feel fulfilled, more than anything.” Michelle nods in agreement “I used to feel I was the only person I could rely on,” she says. “oy parents were married for 42 years and they were very much in love right up until my dad passed away, so I had great role models. I had pretty high expectations of what marriage is about. I wanted to be sure I was with the right person.

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“I felt like I was all on my own and that everything came down to me, but Brendon taught me that I can lean on someone else. I’ve got someone to support me. I’m not going through life on my own.”

Locking eyes as they clink champagne glasses, it’s clear this happy couple intend to celebrate many more anniversaries together. The only question that remains is: When can we expect the pitter-patterof tiny feet?

“of course we really want to be parents,” says Brendon, “but our lives are so busy.” Michelle adds, “I have had some really enormous challenges in the past couple of years. Losing my father and then moving countries were huge. I just want to be in the right state of mind and ready for that next stage of my life. I’ve only just begunenjoying some normality.”

Brendon flashes a cheeky grin. “The kids will come when they’re ready,” he winks. “We’ll be sure to let the Weekly know when that is.”

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