For 50 years, Val McClean and Bill Jack celebrated wedding anniversaries together, not as a couple, but as lifelong family friends. Never imagining in their eighties, they’d celebrate it as each other’s husband and wife.
“If anyone asked me a year ago if I would marry Bill, I would have said never,” laughs Val, 83.
“But then there’s the old saying, ‘Never say never’.”
They first met more than half a century ago at their sons’ football game. Bill was the team manager and Val’s late first husband Alan was the coach. As their children became friends, the parents did too, including Bill’s late first wife Carol.
“Our families just liked one another,” recalls Val.
“We started having meals together every weekend at one house or the other and playing cards into the evening.”
And as their wedding anniversaries both fell on December 16, it became tradition to mark the occasion together. Usually with dinner and a show in the city. Former teachers Val and Alan met in Australia. Where they worked at the same school after immigrating from the UK in 1963.
“I took one look at him and said yes,” shares Val.
They moved to New Zealand in May 1967, with their children Fiona and Ian.
Bill and Carol, parents to Brian, Alan and Valerie, met in Hertfordshire at the movies as teenagers in 1956. They came to New Zealand in 1961, marrying the same year. Though they moved around the country over the years, the families always stayed in touch.
Then, in a bittersweet twist of fate, their friendship picked up again when Alan, wheelchair-bound with muscular dystrophy, and Carol, also in a wheelchair after a stroke, and both battling dementia, went into care at the same facility within a week of each other in 2016.
Deeply devoted to their spouses, Bill and Val visited daily, the four of them sitting together every afternoon to play dominoes.
“It was comforting to have a friend going through the same thing,” says Val.
Alan passed away in 2019 and Carol in 2022. Val clearly remembers Bill reaching out for support.
“He asked me, ‘What do I do now?’ and I replied, ‘Take it one day at a time.’”
Bill, 84, adds, “Val was very good to me. Always a sympathetic ear to listen to my worries. After many years of visiting my wife and suddenly it’s not there, I didn’t know what to do with that big void.”
Afterwards, they stayed in touch, doing what they’d always done – playing cards and drinking coffee together. Last year, they decided to travel together so they could both visit family overseas.
While some questioned if more than friendship was at play, both are adamant love swept in, completely surprising them.
Bill explains, “On the plane, we were talking about how people get the wrong end of the stick assuming we’re together and thought, ‘Oh, well, we may as well get married,’ and that’s how it started.”
At this they both chuckle, adding a shared sense of humour, many years of laughter and a strong foundation of friendship meant once they were open to the idea, falling in love was swift and easy.
Val remembers, “On the plane, Bill said to me, ‘Can I hold your hand?’ and I said, ‘Sure.’ Then he asked, ‘Can I kiss you goodnight?’ and that was that. We left as friends and four days later, in Canada at my grandson’s, we were engaged.”
They wed at their local church in December, surrounded by 70 of their family and friends. Alan and Carol’s ashes lie in the church courtyard, where Bill often tends to the garden. They both believe their late partners would approve.
Val explains, “Alan asked me many times before he died if I would remarry and I said, ‘Not unless I find someone who makes me feel like you do.’ “It’s wonderful to be in love again with the second man in my life, who I know would walk on water for me.”
Wearing a stunning cream and gold wedding dress, passionate seamstress Val was delighted to have an opportunity to wear the gown, which she originally designed and made for a wearable arts showcase.
Now living together in Auckland, Val and Bill, who both kept their original surnames but like to affectionately refer to themselves as the McJacks, are enjoying the many benefits of their unexpected love story, like having a constant companion to laugh with.
“We’re not having any children – let’s get that straight,” Val jokes, before adding, “Neither of us expected this but it’s great. You’re definitely never too old to find love.”
