Selina Nunn, Sophie Isabella Photos
As soon as he caught a glimpse of his stunning bride Gen Maindonald walking towards him down the aisle, Abbas Nazari felt his legs start to shake and his eyes well up.
“It is rare for Afghan men to show emotion, but I had tears throughout the whole ceremony,” the refugee and author of bestselling autobiography After The Tampa tells Woman’s Day. “Seeing Gen looking so beautiful, with our loved ones gathered on either side, is a memory I’ll cherish forever.”
Ilex Café in Christchurch’s Hagley Park was the elegant venue for the first of two heartfelt celebrations marking the start of Abbas and Gen’s life as a married couple. A week after their moving “western” wedding, the couple shared a joyous traditional Afghan ceremony with hundreds of guests.
As Abbas, 28, reflects on his incredible journey from a young boy growing up in the mountains of Afghanistan under the iron grip of the Taliban, to marrying “the love of his life” twice over in New Zealand, he says simply, “Who would have thought?”
In 2001, his parents made the heartbreaking decision to flee persecution in their homeland and begin a perilous journey to find a safer more secure future for their young family. When the fishing boat they were crammed onto with 400 other asylum seekers started to sink off the coast of Australia, they were rescued just in time by the cargo ship Tampa and became one of the few lucky families to be resettled in Aotearoa.
Abbas fondly remembers the Nazari family’s weekly visits to Hagley Park when they first arrived in Christchurch, making it a special location for the couple’s first wedding ceremony. As she walked down the aisle towards her handsome groom, Gen – wearing an exquisite gown by Clara Bridal and a traditional woven korowai representing her Māori heritage – was also overcome by emotion. A few moments later, during the vows, her feelings turned to panic when she realised she had forgotten Abbas’ ring.
Determined not to let the oversight ruin their day, she came up with a perfect solution, which beautifully intertwined their cultures in a symbolic way. Gen, 29, who is of Tapuika descent, says, “Rather than give Abbas a ring, my mother Rhonda and I placed my korowai around Abbas’ shoulders. It was totally unplanned, but it turned out to be our favourite moment of the whole day.”
Twice as nice! The celebrations were a joyous blending of three cultures.
A week later, Christchurch’s Afghan community wrapped its love around Abbas and Gen at their traditional Afghan wedding at Lincoln Events Centre. But before the celebration got underway, we captured some stunning photos of Abbas and Gen – a special moment for the bride, who has long loved Woman’s Day after being introduced to the mag by her grandmothers.
In keeping with tradition, there were separate rooms for men and women at the celebration. The entire group then gathered in the women’s room for Abbas and Gen’s entrance, and the couple was treated to spectacular dances by various groups, including Abbas’ siblings.
Abbas and Gen took part in khina, an Afghan wedding tradition, which saw them apply henna to each other’s hands, a ritual symbolising their transition into married life. Then it was back to the men’s room for Abbas for more dancing and celebrating, while beautiful gifts were brought into the women’s room by the newlyweds’ families.
After a private dinner for the couple and a feast for the guests, there were more special dances, before the evening came to a close.
Both celebrations overflowed with love, emotion and joy, and represented the unique blending of three cultures, with Abbas as a Hazara Muslim, and Gen having both Pākehā and Māori heritage. “We had Afghan dancing at the western wedding and speeches at the Afghan wedding, which is not something that usually happens” says Abbas. “Our families loved coming into each other’s worlds.”
Abbas and Gen both grew up in Christchurch, meeting in 2016, during their final year at the University of Canterbury, where they were in the same political science honours class. Love didn’t blossom straight away, though. They were friends first and it wasn’t until the end of the year that they realised they had developed feelings for each other.
“It was really special going into a relationship with a great friend who I knew so well,” says Gen. “Before we got together, I told Abbas he would make a great husband because he has good values and morals, and he’s really driven. At that moment, I never expected it would be to me.”
It wasn’t always an easy road dating outside their own cultures, they both admit.
Gen explains, “There is no roadmap. At times, we’ve been blindly fumbling in the dark and hoping for the best way forward. We just keep coming back to our similarities, our focus on family and community, and, of course, love. We’ve been told we’re helping to set a path for other young migrants.”
After they graduated from university, the young couple moved to Wellington, where Abbas took up a job at the Treasury and Gen at the Ministry of Defence. In 2019, Abbas was awarded a Fulbright Scholarship to study at Georgetown University in Washington DC. Gen followed soon after to work at the New Zealand Embassy.
With their travel plans scuppered by the pandemic, Abbas used the long months during lockdown in the US to fulfil a long-held dream to write his story. The result was the acclaimed After The Tampa, detailing his family’s incredible story of survival and hope.
Abbas and Gen are looking forward to their exciting new chapter together.
When they were in MIQ after arriving back in Aotearoa, Abbas’ publishers sent him the very first print copy of the book. “Holding it for the first time was such an incredible feeling and made all the late nights worth it. I read the book, signed it, then Gen read it. She still has that copy sitting on the bedside table.”
Abbas and Gen plan to honeymoon in Japan later in the year, after he’s completed yet another exciting chapter in his already extraordinary life. Abbas has been selected by the Antarctic Heritage
Trust as one of 22 inspiring explorers to go on an expedition to South Georgia Island in the sub-Antarctic.
Looking forward to soaking in the stunning landscapes, rich wildlife and stories of historic adventurers, he says, “I’ve always had the explorer gene and am excited to visit this incredible part of the
world that not many people get to see.”
The newlyweds live in Wellington, where they have segued into business and are about to open their second Body Fit Training fitness studio.
“I’ve always thought life is what you make it,” smiles Abbas. “Our journey together is incredible already and I’m excited by what is to come, with our business, travel and having children in the future. I’m ready to take on whatever the next challenge might be and it’s amazing to have a great partner in life like Gen by my side.”
