Dear Wendyl,
A while ago I broke up with my husband after 11 years of marriage. I thought everything had been settled regarding sharing our property out and we have both moved on – he has a girlfriend and I have someone special in my life.
But the other day he rang me and told me he was thinking of proposing to this new woman, and asked if he could have my engagement ring back! I was so shocked, I just mumbled something about having a think about it and hung up.
He says that, because it was his mum’s, he would like to have it to give to his new wife. But I thought traditionally a man gave a woman a ring so she could use it to support herself in case he passed away. I love my ring and I don’t care that it was his mother’s. We were friends before she died so why should this other woman have it? What would you do?
Felicity, by email
Dear Felicity,
Keep the ring. By the sounds of it, you’ve got your affairs in order, and if he wanted it that badly he should have included it in the matrimonial property split.
He can’t keep coming back every time he remembers he wants something, like a trifle bowl his great aunt gave him or a sideboard from his childhood. And I doubt he would have a leg to stand on legally.
You might, however, want to consider offering the ring back to him if he replaces it in value, which means you can then go and buy a lovely new ring to signify a lovely new start. Mr it may be that the ring also holds sentimental value for you as you were close to his mother. Over to you.
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