Dear Wendyl
My husband and I got married last year, and it would be fair to say it was a whirlwind romance. We moved in together after a month and were married eight months later. We’re both really happy, but the other night I realised that we never worked through a lot of stuff other couples who take longer to get hitched do.
We were talking about past lovers and it turns out I’ve had quite a few more than he has. He went really quiet and then said, “Is there anyone in this town you haven’t slept with?” before stomping off to bed. Since then, things have been a bit frosty. I can’t change history, so what can I do to make him feel better?
Ruth, by email
Dear Ruth
You’re absolutely right – you can’t change history. So what’s he going to do about it? I think his pride is a bit hurt and he may be indulging in some old-fashioned prejudicial thinking along the lines of, “Women who have a lot of lovers must be sluts.”
Focus on the now in your relationship – think of fun things to do together and enjoy what you have. Hopefully he’ll get over it and things will return to normal. If he brings it up then maybe you could suggest that a woman with your kind of experience can be a very valuable asset in certain areas, if you know what I mean.
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