Dear Wendyl,
Two years ago when I was working at a different place, I had an affair with someone. Actually, he’s the reason I eventually left, because it began to get too serious and we were both married.
I didn’t hear from him after that, but a few weeks ago we ran into each other. One thing led to another and then we were having an affair again, but this time it’s different. We both want to take it further and leave our partners, but I’m not sure I’m ready. How can I tell?
Suzy, by email
Dear Suzy,
Don’t do it. For the simple reason that if you have to ask yourself if you’re ready then you certainly are not. This guy has already cost you your job, and now it’s looking like he’ll cost you your marriage as well. As soon as you read this I want you to sit down and mentally take yourself back two years and write down all the reasons why you stopped the affair and left your job. Then I want you to talk to your husband and tell him why you aren’t feeling happy.
Before you leave your marriage I think you need to make sure you are doing it for the right reasons. Get some counselling if you think it might help. By the time you’ve done all that, hopefully you will see this affair for exactly what it is, which is a distraction from a marriage you can’t be bothered trying to fix.
Send your questions to [email protected] or write to Agony Aunt, NZWW, PO Box 90119, Victoria St West, Auckland 1142
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