Dear Wendyl,
My husband and I have been married for four years and have a gorgeous little 18-month-old girl. My problem is that since she was born, my husband hasn’t come near me.
We sleep together but do not have sex, nor does he have any interest in it, which seems odd. I’ve tried to talk to him about it but he just grunts and refuses to discuss it, telling me to stop moaning – as if I’m the one with the problem.
I can’t help thinking that my post-baby body disgusts him, yet I haven’t put on any weight and I think I look just the same. What do you suggest I do?
Sad Mum, Tauranga
Dear Sad Mum,
Let’s get one thing straight: This is not your problem. Stop blaming yourself or thinking that his lack of interest has anything to do with how sexy you are. I think there is definitely an issue with your husband which needs to be resolved.
Relationships where there is conflict about sex can have a tough time surviving – and I’m not sure this is about sex, it could be something deeper. But getting men to talk about emotions can be difficult. Your first port of call is your GP, or you can ring 0800 Relate and organise relationship counselling. Your husband needs to know things can return to how they were before your baby – it might just take a bit of work.
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