Dear Wendyl
My girlfriend is leaving for overseas next year and doesn’t seem to mind the fact that I am being left behind. She’s telling everyone that she has a job in Japan, and so they all think she should put her career before our relationship. But I know she hasn’t got a job, and she’s just going to go and see if she can pick something up. When I told her I thought she was using Japan as an excuse to split up with me, she told me I was just being paranoid. What do you think?
Peter, by email
Dear Peter
I think that no matter which way you slice this problem, it has the same end result. Your girlfriend wants to live in Japan without you – job or no job. The sad thing is that she hasn’t been able to be open with you, and do the normal thing of ending the relationship in an honest way.
So you’re going to have to move on and end it yourself. I know this will be hard, and you feel quite rightly that your relationship is fine and doesn’t need to finish, but she has other thoughts on the matter. So before she goes, get the clarification and closure you need from her. Resist the urge to pine and wait until she sees sense and comes home. Put yourself and your dignity first.
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