Dear Wendyl,
My husband’s going away on a work trip. There’s a woman on this trip who he’s been away with before, and I’ve met her at functions.
My radar picked something up between them – a familiarity, if you like. It unnerved me greatly. I haven’t said anything to him because I know he’ll shrug it off, and that scares me too. Shall I bring up my worry to him before he leaves, and create an air of unease before the trip, or shall I let it lie in case it’s just a flirtation that won’t go anywhere? My stomach’s in knots. He has a history of being unfaithful, but we’ve had counselling and have been good for many years now. Please advise me.
Scared, by email
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Dear Scared,**
The only thing you need to know is whether you trust your husband or not. Suspicion is a great way to ruin a good relationship, and anyone can activate their radar and pick up signals if they want to. Use some of the techniques you learned in counselling about trust, and take yourself through them again while your husband’s away.
When he gets back, talk about your problems with this and see if he’s willing to discuss it or reassure you in some way. Perhaps you both need to do a bit more counselling around ways you can keep the trust going in your relationship.
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