Relationships

Hidden relationships

Dear Wendyl, I’m in a relationship with my ex partner’s closest mate and have been for the last two years.

Dear Wendyl,

I’m in a relationship with my ex partner’s closest mate and have been for the last two years. My ex still doesn’t know of our relationship but it started after I broke up with him. I’m not worried if he finds out but my partner is. I’m scared I might actually lose someone I truly love and my kids love him to bits too. Please let me know what you suggest I do.

Cherry, by email

Dear Cherry,

Are you seriously telling me that you’ve been with this guy for two years and your kids know but they haven’t told their dad? That’s a huge amount of pressure to put on your kids. You need to get this out in the open for them. You can’t expect your kids to keep secrets and it’s only a matter of time before they let something slip. Then they’ll feel like it’s all their fault.

So take control of the situation, tell your ex in a controlled environment, with support if you need it, and without the kids present. Your new partner then has some decisions to make about honesty and the value of friendship.

Send your questions to [email protected] or write to Agony Aunt, NZWW, PO Box 90119, Victoria St West, Auckland 1142

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