Dear Wendyl
After many years by myself with my three children, I have committed myself to a new relationship and moved in with someone.
However, my new partner has taken over the house. She won’t let my children sit in the lounge or enter our bedroom.
I have also been supporting her for three years while she studies. I’m feeling resentful and that I may have made a huge mistake. I also feel bad for my children about this change from what was once a busy, friendly home, to a house where no-one visits. I’m a strong person, and usually people come to me for advice, but I am just so unhappy.
Resentful, by email
Dear Resentful
I think you already know what to do and that is to put your children first. They are your primary responsibility and they will be in your life until the day you die. Lovers may come and go, but these three people are yours forever.
So give them the best you can, get out of this relationship and take back control of your home and your children.
It might be a hassle, and you might lose financially, but think about that busy, friendly home you remember and have that as your goal at the end of it. Be strong and make it happen. And remember my golden rule: relationships should make your life better, not worse.
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