Dear Wendyl,
The past two years of my relationship have been very hard to cope with. My partner developed depression and is currently seeing a therapist to help him get through it. I can see he’s trying to change, but I’m finding it extremely hard to cope with what is happening in our relationship.
We always seem to be arguing – it’s like we don’t even have anything in common any more. I still love him but I feel like my personality and soul are being crushed by all the arguing and unhappiness. I can’t talk to my friends – I won’t betray my partner by letting them know his private issues – and I find it hard to talk to my mum about it as I don’t want my family worrying about me. I’m usually a very “together” kind of person and don’t often let my guard down. What should I do?
Anonymous, by email
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Dear Anonymous,
I am so distressed to hear that you are not getting any help for yourself in this situation. It may be that your partner has the illness, but he’s not the only one who needs some counselling because you are carrying a huge amount on your shoulders. Counselling can be as simple as talking to a friend or your mum – and you need to do this. Good friends and family will respect private issues, as well as appreciating being given the chance to help and support you as you deal with this. I admire you for sticking by your partner, but no-one expects you to do this to the detriment of your own life.
Relationships are supposed to enhance your life, not damage it. So start talking, be listened to and receive the help that is offered – you cannot and should not be doing this on your own.
- Wendyl
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