Relationships

Agony Aunt – We miss you dad!

It's all very well being a good provider, but when a father can't see his way clear to spending just two weeks with his family at Christmas, there are deeper issues going on

Dear Wendyl,

I’m trying to plan a Christmas holiday for my family and once again I am running into arguments with my husband who never wants to take a break. He is very hardworking but every Christmas his firm closes for two weeks. I try to arrange a family holiday with the kids but he always finds a way to get out of it and we end up going on our own.

This has happened for two years running and he is already coming up with excuses, like he needs to be on call for a client. How do I get him to realise he needs to take a break and we’d like to have a holiday with him like a normal family?

Dee, by email

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Dear Dee,

Your husband is not only a workaholic, he’s a selfish husband and father too. It’s possible there’s something in his past that’s put him off holidays for life so perhaps you need to try to get to  the bottom of that first. I’ve got all sorts of suggestions, like renting your house out for the holidays so he can’t stay there, but, to be honest, I think the issue is his inability to stop working.

He obviously rates himself on what he does for a living rather than what he does for his family and that is deep, psychological stuff. So get some marriage counselling because this is about your relationship and family and it has the potential to get worse and cause other problems and issues later on in life, not only for you but for your kids.

Call Relationship Services, 0800 RELATE for advice. I know I always recommend these people, but they are great!

  • Wendyl

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