Agony Aunt: sexing up your relationship

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Dear Wendyl

oy husband and I are in our mid-fifties and we have a pretty good marriage, I think. But recently he’s been pressuring me to “spice up” our sex life with suggestions of different things we can do. I try to understand, but I don’t see myself as the type to wear handcuffs and that sort of thing. The other day when I got home I found he had bought me a book called oy Secret Garden: Women’s Sexual Fantasies. I started reading it and was, quite frankly, disgusted. How do I get him to see that I like our sex life just the way it is?

Confused, by email


Dear Confused

Here’s what I think – some men, and I’m not necessarily saying your husband, reach their middle age and have a crisis. They sleep with younger women, buy ridiculous motorbikes and update their underwear. Your husband, on the other hand, is just saying “Hey, let’s have some more fun.” So I think you should work with him on this, because he’s saying he wants to be with you but he’d just like to try another menu.

That may not mean handcuffs and whips – it might just mean some very simple and easy things. So try to loosen up a bit, find some reading material that might suit you better, go online and look at some sex shops to see what they offer, and you might find that the two of you have the time of your life. Just talk to him about how you feel and see if you can work together on this.

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