Agony Aunt: how many ‘partners’ is too many?

Dear Wendyl,

Recently there was a report in the paper about the number of sexual partners people have in their lifetime. My husband read it and asked me how many I have had, so I told him. He was really shocked and said he had no idea when he married me 25 years ago that I was such a “slut”. I couldn’t believe he called me that name, and now we’re barely talking to each other.

So what I would like to know is how many is too many for a 50-year-old woman? I need some ammunition here.

Was Happily oarried, by email

Dear Was Happily oarried,

Gosh, you’re asking me? Put it this way – if you run out of fingers and then use up all your toes when you’re counting, you might be stretching the bounds of normal sexual exploration before marriage, in my opinion.

But I know some perfectly lovely people who have been through both sets of fingers and toes twice, so who is to judge? Surely the only point you need to make to your husband is that you chose him, you’ve been faithful – I presume – to him for 25 years, and that’s all that matters.

What’s more, your experience in the bedroom could possibly have been a great asset to this marriage, because he has obviously had much less experience than you, which is probably why he’s sulking.

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