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Advice

Judge Jay-Jay shares her advice on making friends as adults

More FM radio diva Jay-Jay Feeney delivers her verdict on your biggest dilemmas

The no-friend zone

Hi Jay-Jay,
I was recently transferred for my work, moving from Hamilton to Tauranga. I am single and my family lives in Wellington, so it wasn't a problem for me to move, but I'm struggling to find friends here. It's embarrassing to admit because I'm not entirely shy – I just don't know how to meet people! I work with men most of the time and I would prefer a few female friends.
I don't want to seem desperate, so how do I meet people and befriend them?
Maria, Tauranga
Kia ora, Maria!
A new city and no friends – it's terrifying!
I have been there. I moved to Christchurch for my first year at More FM and although everyone was friendly, I found it quite cliquey and hard to penetrate the groups of friends already established.
But I did in the end. I was proactive, joined in with their activities and invited them to do things. It was easier for me because I started with work colleagues. Since you don't have that advantage, I have some other ideas for you.
My boss Amy moved to New Zealand from Perth recently and she has made so many friends. She started by using the Friend Finder app and actually met a few women on there with common interests. They went on coffee dates and to restaurants etc. She also joined a few groups on Facebook for cycling, knitting and couch surfing!
She has been on bike rides with people, went to a knitting club and meets people from out of town who stay on her sofa for the night. All different people with different backgrounds and life stories. She is having a blast! I'm so impressed by her.
So in a case like this, you have to put yourself out there. Join a group with common interests and make the effort to meet people. You won't click with all of them, but you may just find your next best friend.
Good luck!, Jay-Jay
A problem shared is a problem halved! Send your sticky situations to Jay-Jay – email wdaynz@aremedia.co.nz.

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