It wasn’t until they were older that Simon Barnett’s four daughters appreciated that their sensitive, fun-loving and emotionally-attuned father was born to be a “Girl Dad”. They won’t lie – his ponytail skills weren’t great. But he’d cry watching every Disney princess film, would dress up in a pink pinny and clip on some sparkly earrings to have his nails painted, while loudly singing along to Taylor Swift or Justin Bieber hits.
It’s not that he didn’t try to show his adoring little girls his tough, alpha male side now and again. Once, on a family trip to Australia’s Gold Coast, Simon insisted on taking daughter Sophie on the Tower of Terror ride. Even though wife Jodi warned him she was far too young and would likely freak out. Simon didn’t listen.
Family first for Simon Barnett
“So we went and I cried and screamed the entire time,” Sophie recalls.
“As we got off the ride, Mum came running over, asking, ‘Did Soph love it?!’ Dad panicked, shoved me into a nearby bush and whispered, ‘I’ll buy you an ice cream if you stop crying! Mum can’t see you cry!’”
Family has always been the 58-year-old broadcaster’s whole world. Nothing comes close to his greatest source of pride – his 32-year marriage to Jodi and raising their daughters, doctors Sammi, 31, and Isabella, 26, speech pathologist Sophie, 29, and software developer Lily, 25.
Stepping up for his girls after Jodi’s passing
They’re all incredibly close-knit and live within 300 metres of each other in Christchurch. After Jodi died aged 61, following a “brutal” six-year battle with brain cancer in October 2023. The Barnett sisters say their dad has stepped into that gap in every way possible. If Simon was the backbone of the family, Jodi was the heart.
“There are moments we feel overwhelmed by our loss, especially when I see my kids missing out on knowing Mum,” says Sophie.
“But even in that sadness, we feel so incredibly blessed to have Dad. “With four kids, five grandkids and the 4am starts in breakfast radio, he is stretched thin – all while he’s grieving too. Yet he shows up, day after day, holding space for all of us, even when his own cup is empty.”
At hearing this, Simon wipes away tears and shares, “When Jodi got sick, I remember Bella saying to me, ‘Our family is going to change forever, Dad.’ And I couldn’t argue with that. I can see little fissures now that Jodes would have handled so beautifully, but I’m out of my depth. “My kids are having kids now,” says the More FM Breakfast Club co-host.
Filling the space Jodi once held
“They’re at the stage where there are so many demands, and just the challenges of early parenting like mastitis or the baby’s been up all night and they dreadfully need their Mum. I don’t think I can quite fill the void that Jodi left because she was so immensely capable. “But I was upfront with the girls early on and said, ‘This is the stuff that can rip families apart because we all cope with grief so differently. We need to show each other a lot of grace.’”
His four girls phone him every day. Each Saturday morning, he walks with Lily and Isabella without fail. And there are constant invites to hang out, so he doesn’t have to be alone.
“They’re incredibly encouraging of my radio work too. I’ll ring them to get their opinions, and they’ve filled that gap where Jodi would listen to and give feedback on every show.”
Part of Simon’s ongoing grief as he adjusts to a new normal, is feeling ripped off that he and Jodi can’t enjoy being grandparents together.
Balancing grief and joy
His “angelic” grandkids – Monty, six, Mila, three, Zebadiah, two, Ella Jodi, one, and Maia, nine months – call him “Chief” and Jodi was “Popo”, Chinese for Grandma, to honour her Asian heritage.
“When Monty comes for a sleepover at my place, he will see her photo next to my bed or her clothes still in the wardrobe and ask, ‘Do you miss Popo, Chief?’ I say I miss her terribly but I don’t want to upset them either. “The grandkids know she’s in Heaven, so we’ll see her again. They only knew Jodi in a wheelchair and not being able to talk. It’s very painful she’s not here to enjoy them because the children and grandkids were everything she wanted in life. Even on Grandparent’s Day at school recently, I was the only one there who was single.”
As a self-confessed homebody, Simon mentions he’s living what was always his worst fear – to be middle-aged and alone.
“I feel young to be a widower,” he admits.
“When I go for walks with my daughters, I see couples everywhere and I’m like, ‘Ugh.’ I’m lonely in some respects, but it’s not for another woman or friends, I’m just lonely for Jodi. “But I’m genuinely managing it and getting better on my own. I’m also a bit socially anxious now. I never used to be. I see some of the comments from the More FM Breakfast Facebook page that say, ‘It’s so great that Simon is moving on, so great he’s laughing again.’ Yes, that’s true to a point that I’m laughing again, but some of it’s not a true reflection of where my heart’s at.”
Finding faith and purpose after loss
Understandably, his daughters are “twitchy” about him meeting someone new.
“I don’t actually want to meet anybody either but I also don’t like being alone,” he says.
“Even before Jodi, as a 14-year-old kid, I wanted a girlfriend more than a whole load of mates. I was made to be with a soulmate and have a deep relationship.”
Buoyed by his Christian faith – “I’m closer to God than I ever was before” – Simon’s thought about a couple of ways he wants to start moving forward as he figures out how grief and joy can hold hands.
He plans to get involved with a brain cancer charity – “I’m not sure if I’m ready yet or what I can offer, but it’s specific to what changed life for me” – and is building a new home to host large family gatherings.
When the couple married in 1991, they knew they wanted lots of children. Jodi was one of four girls and Simon was one of five.
“My parents split up when I was 11 and it really affected me,” tells the former TV presenter.
“I was quite insecure, which is why I went into performing – you get applause and accolades. Even though I missed my dad, the one thing they both offered me was unconditional love. It never wavered. “And I hope our girls would say the same thing. Jodi and my family maxim was: ‘You can tell Mum and Dad anything and everything!”
Family nights and cherished traditions continue
Friday evenings quickly became family night – the kids would make a menu or they’d go on a driving adventure based on a coin toss at every intersection.
Simon also used to take the girls on one-on-one dates when they were little, where they’d get to pick the activity. One school holidays, he ended up going to see The Princess Diaries four times. As Father’s Day approaches, the extended family will all take a walk out to the Sumner Esplanade, get a coffee and an ice cream, and visit Jodi’s memorial bench.
It’s a romantic spot that she and Simon used to love escaping to. Now, despite their grief, he and the girls feel “so lucky” to be such good friends, as well as family.
“My heart feels this massive warmth when I think about the fair amount of adversity they have faced in their young lives,” smiles Simon.
“But not withstanding that, they have emerged as really kind, empathetic people. “I watch them as mothers and they’re just like Jodes was. I see so much of their mum in them and for me, that’s the greatest reward.”
Listen to Simon and Lana on the Breakfast Club on More FM from 5.30am weekdays or on Rova.
