When world-renowned animal behaviourist and trainer Mark Vette was planning his wedding to long-term partner Kim Morresey, he had one non-negotiable: their rustic golden retriever Awa, two, and ragdoll cat Zen, seven months, could be in their wedding photos but not part of the ceremony.
“Over the years, I’ve taught dogs to bring rings, fly aeroplanes and drive cars, but this day was not going to be a training exercise!” laughs Mark.
Kim agrees, “Mark needed a bit of a break from animal wrangling,” she smiles.
The couple’s romantic Coromandel Peninsula beach ceremony, held on Mark’s 70th birthday, was the “absolute idyllic wedding”, says the animal psychologist and zoologist turned TV personality and author.
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Furry friends join the celebration
And their beloved pets were eventually included. After waiting patiently in a camper during the ceremony, they were let loose to party with the bride and groom, and their guests, afterwards. Mark had hoped that an orca or dolphin might make an appearance in the water nearby, which would have topped off the perfect day. Instead, Mother Nature gifted them a rainbow and some monarch butterflies, which was particularly special given that Mark’s mum Heather, who passed away at age 48, had told him that monarch butterflies would always be a reminder that she was present.
“There was a lot of magic,” reflects Kim.
Vows beneath the pōhutukawa trees
The couple, who met in 2010, began celebrations the night before their wedding with family and friends at a local campground for a swim, pizza and drinks. The next day, they exchanged vows in front of 120 guests. The ceremony took place in the dappled sunlight beneath pōhutukawa trees on a reserve Mark and Kim know as the “front paddock.” It is located directly across the road from their house, overlooking Castle Rock at Hot Water Beach.
A relaxed celebration was so important to the pair, both Zen Buddhists, that Mark threatened to wear white Crocs.
“I’m such a beach bum,” he grins.
Stylish yet comfortable
However, he opted for black shoes, paired with a white shirt and blue trousers, but confesses that his Crocs did make an appearance later during the speeches. Mark was tearful watching his bride walk down the aisle on the arm of her mum Jan to Van Morrison’s song Someone Like You.
Kim was accompanied by six flower girls – their granddaughters, Nalu, 11, Isla, nine, Kora, six, Ada, six, Lakey, five, and Lowe, four.
“They’ve been the biggest, cutest joy of the whole experience,” Kim says.
“It was just delicious. We said they could wear whatever they wanted, but they ended up being quite theme-based because Nalu is a real fashionista.”
Kim’s dreamy bridal look
Kim looked gorgeous in a Seed dress, a cape from Astra Bridal, which featured an exquisite long cape, chiffon-puffed sleeves and applique flowers that represented the beach and nature.
“I imagined a sea breeze,” she says of the billowing design that two of her sisters, Patrice and Keri, helped her pick.
A first wedding at 56
While Mark has been married before, this was Kim’s first wedding.
She confesses, “It has been a bit to get my head around being a bride at 56. I met Mark when I was 41 and in many ways, I was looking not just for my partner, but for my family. What way that was going to pan out, I wasn’t sure. “Still, I come from a really big family and family is really important to me, so I feel truly blessed around Mark’s three kids, Jazmin, Bodhi and Koan – they’re just lovely. Being also gifted six grandgirls and a grandson has been a real joy. And then all the animals. Wow!”
A helicopter proposal with a twist
Mark put a lot of thought into popping the question, but it didn’t quite go according to plan.
“We did the whole helicopter ride and I got my son to write ‘Will you marry me, Kim’ in the sand at a Waiheke beach,” he explains.
Kim adds, “His son started at one end and his mate started at the other end, but they didn’t negotiate where they would stop! So they ended up with three Rs.”
And the hiccups didn’t stop there.
Popping the question
“Kim looked down and went, ‘Oh, there’s a Kim getting married,’” a bemused Mark recalls.
“It took her about five minutes to work it out!”
Laughs Kim, “I’d never been in a helicopter before and the experience blew me away.”
Building a life together
Once she cottoned on, Kim said yes, and she and Mark intended getting married quite quickly after the proposal. However, they ended up engaged for 13 years and say an intense work schedule kept them from planning a wedding sooner. The couple has worked together since 2015, when Kim left her environmental council job to help Mark grow his business, online dog-training programme Dog Zen.
“Life’s been busy, so it was time to touch back into the core of our spiritual friendship,” says Kim.
The couple has a lot in common, from a love of meditation and mindfulness retreats to beach walks, films, dining out and travel. Kim says they share similar values, but their approaches to doing things are very different.
Complementary strengths
“With Mark, you can see why he’s such an amazing animal trainer because he’s very present in the moment, and very responsive and organic. I’m more structured, organised and think long-term.”
Those organisational skills were useful when it came to wedding planning. Kim sourced local companies, like Coromandel Weddings, who styled their home where the reception and after-party were held, and Whitianga restaurant Blue Ginger, who created a relaxed walk-and-fork dining experience. Tauranga musician Jasper Hawkins provided the music, which had guests boogeying until 2am. A traditional wedding cake was replaced with doughnuts and cupcakes (a nod to Kim’s late dad John), and Mark also had a birthday cake.
Friends and family pitch in
Family and friends chipped in to help. Mark’s niece Heather did Kim’s make-up, mate April was in charge of flowers, neighbour Tony helped with landscaping and other neighbours opened up their homes for accommodation.
“The whole village was taken over!” says Mark.
The duo hosted a post-wedding brunch with another 40 guests. Their wedding was an opportunity to bring together their two families. While both Mark and Kim’s dads have passed away, Kim’s mum Jan was there, along with Kim’s five sisters, including her non-identical twin, plus Mark’s sister and brother, his three kids and their partners. As well as the six flower girls, grandson Foss, eight months, who was born the same day Mark submitted his fourth book, Cat Zen, to his publisher, was in attendance.
One of the unique aspects of Cat Zen is that Mark teaches how to raise cats not to hunt.
Defending cat’s reputation
“That’ll stir a little bit of porridge,” he says.
“Cats are getting a bad name over the issue, in a country where we don’t have mainland predators traditionally.”
Mark learned animal psychology from renowned wolf biologist Erich Klinghammer in the US after doing his Master’s degree in sheep dog behaviour and genetics, as well as wolf behaviour, and was the first person to practise it in New Zealand. Training animals for TV and films followed, and his children grew up around film sets.
“They were all on the TV show The Funny Farm as wranglers training the animals,” says Mark, recalling the 2002 series that followed the daily life of the Vette family as they ran an animal behaviour business.
The funny farm comes home
His children stayed on for a few days after the wedding and the grandkids found episodes of The Funny Farm on YouTube.
“It was the background for the whole weekend,” tells Mark.
“And the shirts I used to wear? God!”
Memories that last
Kim agrees, “They were a crime. The whole wedding weekend infused our house with all these memories and energy. It was really lovely.”
Looking ahead, they’re excited about Mark’s book launch. Kim, meanwhile, has written a book of poetry, Ecdysis, which has been entered into this year’s Kathleen Grattan poetry prize. Both Mark and Kim write poetry.
They also have a honeymoon to look forward to, which will be broken into three overseas excursions – Australia, then Japan, France, Italy and Ireland. And later, the Amazon and Africa. Along the way, they’ll visit and volunteer at animal rescues.
In the meantime, life is blissful and they’re still basking in the love from their big day.
The rings
Kim and Mark did things a little differently when it came to their wedding jewellery. Rather than wearing a wedding ring, Mark chose a greenstone Buddhist meditation bracelet, known as a mala.
“Pounamu greenstone means a lot,” explains Kim, who, like Mark, has been ordained in Buddhism.
“It’s in my engagement ring, which came from Mark’s mum in the ’60s, with pounamu and gold.”
The couple now also wear matching pounamu friendship necklaces, each forming half of a heart, given to them by friends as a wedding gift.
Cat Zen by Mark Vette is available to buy at Paper Plus, Mighty Ape, and Amazon.
