Married at First Sight

'He's just not that into you': What we can all learn from Chris and Vanessa's split in Married At First Sight Australia

There was a lesson here for all of us.

In a classic case of 'he's just not that into you', Married at First Sight Australia's Chris has called it quits with Vanessa.
This week the pair became the third couple to leave the reality TV show, following in the footsteps of Amanda and Tash and Poppy and Luke.
Viewers could have been forgiven for thinking all was well between the two, because they had so little air time and all seemed fine at Sunday night's commitment ceremony, with both opting to stay in the experiment.
But at this week's lunch with the inlaws – which was attended by Vanessa's friend and teenage daughter and Chris' brother and sister, all hell broke loose.
Vanessa was tense before their guests even arrived because Chris had left her to do all the cooking while he went to the gym.
"That could be a release for her, like me going to the gym," he innocently shared to camera while she swore in the background. "I hope she gets a kick out of it," he smiled.
How misguided was he.
Once their guests arrived, the greetings were barely over before Vanessa began opening up about how rejected she felt by Chris.
He never touched her, he never wanted to spend time with her, she said. We also learned that he'd never returned to their marital bed after recovering from his man-flu.
The shared meal only became more awkward as Chris struggled to show any empathy - in fact, any enthusiasm at all - for his new wife.
The following morning they agreed to leave the experiment, packed their bags and they were gone.
Chris has since claimed that the pair were asked to leave the show because Vanessa revealed she had plans to expose the network for controversial tactics.
"We were forced to leave MAFS. Producers told me they weren't able to shoot anything more with us because Vanessa threatened the network and made up this stuff about her mental health," Chris told WHO.
"I still can't figure out whether Nine or MAFS were being delicate because of her mental health excuse or because she was going to take legal action. I think a different side of her came out in the last episode and she was worried about how she was going to be portrayed, so they just kicked us off."
Both have said the show took a toll on their mental health, with Chris claiming, "I was broken. I had lost 9 kilograms and was smoking my heart out. I was in such a bad place."
Nevertheless, the pair seemed disconnected on Tuesday night's episode, so the least we can do is take a lesson from their failed marriage. If you're in a relationship where you're not quite sure whether your partner is really into you or not, here are all the signs that will tell you everything you need to know:

You're always the one initiating to see him

If it's always you who's saying 'hey let's do this...' that is not a good sign. You may fool yourself that it's just because you're the more organised one and you're always coming up with great ideas. But if he wants to spend time with you he will make an effort to organise dates and suggest things that you can do together. He will call you!

He doesn't make eye contact with you

It's a fact that people who fancy one another make lots and lots of eye contact. They can't help themselves; it's a natural expression of their like or lust for one another. So if you find he is avoiding eye contact, or always finding other things to look at when he's interacting with you, take that as a warning sign.

He doesn't try to impress you

I dated a guy like this once. He would turn up in his grungy old jeans and green sweatshirt pretty much every time, presumably thinking he looked hot simply because he'd turned up on a motorbike and taken off his leather jacket in front of me.
I, on the other hand, put a lot of time and effort into how I looked for each date, and distinctly remember feeling disappointed when I saw what he'd turned up in. Again.
I was right to feel disappointed but I failed to take that as the sign that it was...
Heed my warning: If they want to win your affection they will try to impress you. They will put time and effort into their appearance for each and every date, they'll buy you flowers, they'l turn up on time for dates, they'll try to make you laugh.... You get the picture.

He cancels on you to go out with the boys

This tells you where his priorities lie.
Guys that are into their partners don't cancel dates, they turn up. And they've been looking forward to seeing you all day.

He only seems to want to get physical with you

If it was up to him he'd skip the restaurant meals and the hours spent talking. He'd rather just get physical. Yet once the deed is done you're left feeling dead and cold.
A partner who is into you wants to get to know you. He asks questions, he opens up about himself, and he likes doing all sorts of things with you.

He never touches you

This perhaps seems counter-intuitive to what's just been said, but we're not talking about sex. We're talking about non-sexual touch that tells you the person you're with is present and engaged with you. Couples who fancy one another can't help but do this. In a way, they literally can't keep their hands off one another, and unconsciously seek out ways to brush knees under the table, touch the other's arm while they're talking, hold hands, brush the other's hair out of their eyes.

He doesn't ask you questions about yourself

It's natural to feel curious about a person that you have feelings for. You want to get to the crux of who they are, where they come from, what makes them tick. You seek out commonalities that give you shared interests and common ground. If he's not asking questions, it might be time for you to put some questions to him about where he sees this relationship going.

He doesn't listen to you

He may be hearing you but is he listening? Is he paying attention to what you're saying? Empathising? Wanting to help you fix things when you're in a 'crisis'? Does he give you his full attention or is he constantly distracted by his phone? Does he remember the stories you tell him? If it's all going in one ear and out the other, his mind is not on you.
While we all have our 'off' days and no one is the 'perfect' partner, if you've ticked yes to all or most of the above, it might be time to re-evaluate your relationship.
In the words of Vanessa, "No one is worth losing your happy."