Kath Gould
TV star Kimberley Crossman is not good at keeping secrets from her husband Tom Walsh. So when she found herself home alone in Los Angeles, clutching three positive pregnancy tests, it was almost impossible not to call him immediately.
“I wanted the moment I told him to be special and in-person,” explains Kimberley, 35.
“He was in New Zealand working and we were going to be together again in six days’ time. Still, it was difficult holding it in– I kept having to cut short our conversations!”
A heartbreaking loss
Kimberley’s journey to motherhood has involved heartbreak and angst. Two years ago, she and Tom lost their first baby, a little girl they call Blueberry. There had been signs the pregnancy wasn’t tracking well and at about 12 weeks, they discovered at a scan that there was no heartbeat. While Kimberley was ecstatic to find herself pregnant again, there was inevitably anxiety too.
“This whole journey, I’ve been trying not to replicate the things I did the first time because I didn’t want to jinx it,” she says.
“My heart has felt guarded for a lot of it. Last time, I told Tom on Facetime, so while it was tough, I decided to wait.”
Fertility challenges
This pregnancy felt particularly miraculous because not long before, the couple had learned that Kimberley has very low levels of anti-Müllerian hormone – a measure of how many eggs a woman has left. Fertility doctors warned they would need IVF treatment, but the couple decided to try some alternative therapies first to give them the best chance of success.
During a month together in LA, they explored anything to help them become healthier in body and mind. Both had already given up alcohol, a decision led by Tom, 45, a year before.
Choosing sobriety together
“I’ve always enjoyed a few drinks but wasn’t liking it any more,” he says.
“So we decided to stop and I’m blown away by how much better I feel. My stress levels have gone right down and I have more clarity.”
Kimberley adds, “Obviously, I have to be sober for this journey, but it was a decision we both made. Anything is easier to do together. It felt like a lot of our relationship was around Californian chardonnay!”
Exploring holistic therapies
During their reset month, they went further, trying new techniques, including breath work, seeing a nutritionist, having neuro-emotional technique therapy to remove emotional stress, seeing an acupuncturist (even though Tom didn’t love the idea of needles), and even consulting witches and healers to ease the trauma of their miscarriage.
“We tried everything that other people said had worked for them and did it all together,” says Kimberley.
“One of the things I love about my husband is he’s open-minded about new things.”
A mixed bag of emotions
When she realised her period was late, Tom had gone home. Solo in LA, Kimberley did a pregnancy test and the result came back negative.
“I was upset because I thought that meant the gaps between my periods were getting longer, which is a sign of perimenopause,” she explains.
“But then four days later, my period still hadn’t started, so I did another test and the result was positive.”
Waiting to share the news
Kimberley did two more tests to be completely sure, then she waited to share the news. By the time she was reunited with Tom in Auckland, she was already experiencing some morning sickness and that first night in bed together, she presented him with one of the positive pregnancy tests wrapped up like a gift.
“Normally, Kim would have at least dropped me a hint, but she hadn’t said anything,” recalls Tom.
“It was a huge surprise when I unwrapped it.”
The relief of sharing
Adds Kimberley, “It was such a relief to tell him. I’d been planning to do it on our wedding anniversary but couldn’t wait a moment longer.”
For most of the first trimester, work has kept them apart. Tom has been directing a children’s TV show in New Zealand, while Kimberley has been working on projects in development in LA. That meant he couldn’t be with her at their first scan.
Coping with anxiety and waiting
“You do these scans, then have to wait 72 hours to go to the person who’s allowed to talk to you about them,” says Kimberley, who had a friend to support her.
“If you’ve had a bad one, it really colours the experience, and makes it hard to live in the joy and the magic of it. I’ve been doing lots of things to keep me in a positive mindset, to be free of any trauma from the last experience and connect with this baby.”
One of the most helpful was a henna ceremony and a session with a spiritual guide. Kimberley’s belly was painted with artistic patterns, and there was a ceremony to connect with the unborn baby and deceased family members.
Finding peace and connection
“There were some beautiful things that came up,” says Kimberley.
“Like that baby Blueberry is there with this child, ready to welcome it to us. Tom’s ancestors are there and my nanna Joan. It gave me a little bit of faith and peace.”
Now in her second trimester, Kimberley is feeling good. Her energy is back, the morning sickness has gone and a baby bump has popped out.
“I’ve also finally got some boobs, which I’ve been waiting for forever, so that’s really cool!” she laughs.
Second trimester joys
“Now I’ve got the bump, it feels a little different.”
She’s briefly been reunited with Tom in Aotearoa, before heading back to the US for more work commitments.
Tom says, “When she came through the doors at the airport and revealed her belly, I was like, ‘Wow!’ She’d sent me photos of how things were progressing, but seeing it in person was awesome.”
Hearing the heartbeat
That meant they could be together for their next scan and heard their baby’s heartbeat. However, the couple don’t want to know the sex yet.
“My sister Rochelle didn’t find out,” explains Kimberley.
“It was a cool surprise and made it fun for everybody in the waiting room.”
Family excitement
Tom’s son Louie, who will have turned 10 by the time the baby is born, is the only one with a real sex preference.
“He loves the idea of being a big brother and really wants a boy,” says Tom.
Meanwhile, the couple has a strong sense that they are expecting a girl. They will find out for sure in just a few months. Their due date is 18 December, with Kimberley planning to give birth in New Zealand, then spend time after with their families in the Coromandel, getting to know the new arrival.
After a break, both will pick up their careers again – though neither Kimberley nor Tom is quite sure where that will take them.
“Obviously, the baby is our first priority, but I’m pursuing a dream that I’m really invested in,” says Kim, who’s back in the US for more work commitments, including the premiere of horror-comedy Deathgasm 2.
“I thought I’d have been a bit more panicked about how we’re going to figure it all out because I’m not really a go-with-the flow person usually. But I feelnthis overwhelming sensemof peace and calm about it, which I wasn’t expecting.”
More than anything, she’s excited to see what kind of mother she will be.
“You’re going to be absolutely amazing,” Tom tells her.
“You take such great care of me and everyone else around you. Imagine how you’ll be with this little person that you’ve just created.”
Makeup & styling: @kathgould_makeup
Hair: @Jen.drake.hair
Kim wears @Jetsetbohemian, @rubytakessnaps
Tom wears @barkersclothing, @zambesisince79
Assistant: Helen Gould
Location: @unyoked.co
Catering: @mapleandmarble_butchery
