At 53, grandmother-of-one Barbara “Barb” Raos reckons her reality TV debut was the direct result of a midlife crisis.
“I told my husband, ‘Either I have an affair or I go on Survivor.’ We chose Survivor,” jokes the Auckland matriarch.
But unbeknown to viewers, Barb was struggling with a more pressing handicap than her age as she battled for supremacy in the Nicaraguan jungle.
“I’ve had an issue with my hearing for a while,” admits the mum-of-three. “I’d watch TV with the family and have to have the volume up really loud, but refused to get a hearing aid because I thought I was too young. But when I found out I was going to be in Survivor, I finally put my vanity aside and went out and got one!”
But things didn’t go to plan – it quickly became clear that sweaty, dirty surrounds of her new home were no place for a fiddly hearing device, so Barb went without – meaning she was oblivious to many of the whispered snarky comments of her fellow contestants.
“Probably just as well,” she laughs. “I don’t think I’d have wanted to know what they were saying about me!”
The gutsy former personal assistant admits she was shocked at how she was viewed by the others on the show.
“I’ve just never ever been so quickly dismissed. It’s hard because most people that meet me are usually quite impressed. So it was a good reality check.
“I never thought of myself as old until I was on the show. But all of a sudden, I realised other people thought I was old.”
In the lead up to the show, Barb trained for 10 weeks, walking 55km and swimming 8km a week. Down six kilos by the time she started on the show, she dropped a further 10kg during filming, thanks to the team’s sparse diet of rice and beans.
Despite being in peak condition, it was the scorching temperatures and relentless humidity that proved Barb’s undoing – culminating recently with her fainting on screen.
“I hate the heat!” she says. “My body didn’t bounce back the way the others did.”
The Central American jungle is a world away from Barb’s busy Auckland life, where she and businessman Dave (57) live in a sprawling 1930s house on a five-hectare lifestyle block, with daughter Devon (22), son Sam (23), daughter-in-law Louise (23) and four-and-a-half month-old grandson Logan, as well as five horses and a sea of flamingos left over from Devon’s 21st birthday party.
“I liked them so much that I decided they needed to stay,” Barb grins.
Barb says her close-knit clan were highly amused when she was selected for the show out of 8000 hopefuls.
“In some ways, it was a dream come true. I used to watch Survivor with Devon and say, ‘I could do that!’” she tells. “I loved the mixture of physical challenges and strategy.”
“My husband was a bit bemused – as were most of my friends – but he knows I am single-minded and tenacious.”
The couple, who have been married 26 years, met when Barb was Dave’s PA. But just four months later, the independent 23-year-old headed off on her OE, working as a barmaid in London and travelling all over Europe, while Dave continued to work in Auckland. Upon Barb’s return, they got back together, marrying two years later.
Since her return from Survivor, Barb has taken on her new grandmother role with relish – looking after Logan four days a week while Sam and Louise are at work.
Tragically, Louise, who had been expecting identical twins two years earlier, miscarried at 20 weeks. The loss, tells Barb, affected the whole family.
“It was so hard and there is still a level of grief,” she says, tearing up. “You can’t help think about what might have been…”
Happily, though, Logan was born in February with no complications. And the lively family could be set to grow even more when youngest son Jackson (19), known as Jack, returns in a few weeks from Germany.
“He’s in love for the first time,” tells Barb.
“I’ve got a feeling I might be gaining another addition to the family before long!”
And that’s not counting horse-mad daughter Devon’s four foals, which are due in September. Devon was Barb’s voice of reason after she was savaged by the younger contestants.
“She told me not to take it so personally, that they were just saying what they were thinking at the time.”
Mother and daughter have always enjoyed a close bond. Barb took Devon to watch the dressage at the Olympics in London in 2012.
“It was definitely one of the highlights of my life,” she smiles. “It was the most amazing experience.”
It was also a chance to catch up with her OE friends. But she’s glad that fate brought her back to Dave all those years ago.
“I enjoy travel, but I am also a real homebody,” she tells. “I just enjoy being with my family. Even after all these years, Dave will tell anyone he adores me! He’s a really good dad who puts his family first. I picked a good one.”
