He’s one of New Zealand’s biggest pop stars and youth role models – an Ambassador for the Rugby World Cup and the face of an anti-smoking campaign. But in a shocking interview, singer J Williams has admitted he has drinking and anger problems that lead to him abusing his former partner, Larissa Brown – the mother of their two-month-old baby Ryder.
J – real name Joshua – ended his two- and-a-half-year relationship with Larissa earlier this year as she was going into labour with their first child. He is ashamed of his behavior.
“We are all human. We all have faults, including me, and yes, I do have a drinking and anger problem,” he told the Weekly in a revealing interview.
To his fans, Joshua is a confident, good-looking singer and dancer, but friends and family of Larissa – who told the Weekly they witnessed Josh punching and pushing his former partner – say she’s better off without him.
When asked if he was physically abusive towards Larissa, Joshua said he regretted his actions. “Just like every other relationship, there have been scuffles, here and there. I’m trying to right my wrongs,” he admits. “I have a lot of downs in my life at the moment. Every time I fall, I try to get back up.”
Joshua claims alcohol is to blame for the abuse Larissa has suffered from him.
“I’ve been drinking since I was 14, I grew up with it. It’s just the way it is,” he says. “Drinking is definitely a problem for me – it’s my demon – and I’m seeking help.”
Although Joshua admits he’s wrong, he believes he is following a pattern, saying he grew up in an abusive environment.
However, he says his renewed relationship with his father is helping him ride out the tough times. “I never used to talk to him. I’ve started to talk to him and get counselling from him. He’s very wise now. He’s changed.”
Throughout his career, Joshua has cited US singing star Chris Brown, who pleaded guilty to assaulting R&B princess Rihanna in 2009, as one of his inspirations. Now he says he’s more like Chris than he would like to admit. “I looked up to him as an artist,” he says.
At only 24 years old, Joshua admits he’s experienced a lot. Married at just 19, the Samoan-Fijian R&B singer and hip-hop dancer represented New Zealand at the World Hip Hop Dance Championships in 2006, scoring a silver medal. But it was after his marriage ended that he met Larissa.
The couple were so much in love, that Josh wrote hit song, You Got Me – the highest-selling single in New Zealand last year – for Larissa.
And at the height of his popularity, with the fame and attention from female fans it brought, Joshua maintains Larissa was the only girl for him. “At first, I was deeply in love. When I was with [Larissa], the other women meant nothing to me. I didn’t worry about the other women because I had one, and I loved her – that was never a problem. My only problem was the drinking and the anger.”
Josh says he is remorseful that he has hurt the mother of his child, and says leaving her – while she was in labour – was “bad timing”. He says he left Larissa because he fell out of love with her.
“It is what it is. I couldn’t lie any more. I realised I started too early, I was too young. I didn’t know what I was doing any more. I was confused.”
Joshua says he’s currently seeking spiritual guidance from his church and counselling from the organisation Man Alive to help conquer his demons.
“I’m disgusted with myself, with the timing and everything that has happened, but I tell [Larissa] every day that I’m sorry, and I’m seriously trying to change.
“This is a problem I need to sort out. This just shows me that I have hurt her emotionally and physically. I understand why she is hurt,” he says.
Although he is now admitting to his demons, Josh believes he can still be a good example for his baby boy. “I want to be a really good role model and father for my son. That’s all that matters.”
Josh doesn’t know what shape his music career will take after his confession, but there’s one thing he wants the world to know. “I want to make a public announcement. I’m very sorry Larissa.”
Larissa, who will reveal what life was like for her as Joshua’s partner in next week’s issue of the Weekly, says the wellbeing of the couple’s son is her priority.
“I forgive Josh for his shortcomings but until I see a change, I will be very protective of my son. He will not be hurt like I was. I believe I know Josh better than anyone and in this case actions speak louder than words. I’m trying the best I can to put the pieces of my life back together.”
