Pictures: Gina Fabish
If there’s one thing you learn when playing top-level rugby, it’s the value of being part of a strong team. And new Chiefs first-five Josh Jacomb has had the best teamwork training of all this season, having to leave his partner to care for his young family – and their new baby – while he grabbed the chance to join the Super Rugby Pacific team in Hamilton.
Based in New Plymouth, the Taranaki player, 23, was only just settling into the groove of life as a new dad alongside his long-term girlfriend Bonnie Henderson-Waho when he got the call-up to join the Chiefs.
One of his biggest fans and supporters, Bonnie, 26, immediately stepped up to her new role as part-time solo parent and encouraged Josh to follow his dream.
Since late last year, the young father and promising rugby star has been shuttling between the two cities, spending weeks at a time away from his little family while training and playing, returning home on free weekends to remind Jorji-Lee, now almost one, who her daddy is.
The challenging season has paid off both on and off the field. Josh is excited to share that the Chiefs have signed him for the next two years and that he and Bonnie are expecting their second child.
Another supporter on the way
“It’s reassuring to know that we’re going to be in a good position to grow our family,” shares Josh. “I can provide for them and we can all be together.”
Now permanently based in Hamilton, Bonnie and Jorji can lead a more normal life with Josh.
“Jorji was only four months old when Josh left. She had to get used to talking to her dad a lot via FaceTime, so she has become obsessed with the phone. I hate that,” laughs Bonnie.
The young mum says she adapted well to life with Josh suddenly gone. Being a big believer in routines, it was almost harder to adjust to the odd weekend when he returned.
“I’m quite efficient on my own,” she tells. “Even though we all went with the flow, it was still hard when he left again after a day or two.”
When Josh was still splitting his time between cities, his support crew would join him in Hamilton for Chiefs games. They would stay at the flat he shared with fellow Taranaki teammate Mills Sanerivi and Chiefs lock Naitoa Ah Kuoi, whose partner and four-year-old twins were based in Wellington.
“The flat did feel like baby central sometimes,” laughs Josh.
Adapting to a new lifestyle
Looking ahead to life with two children under two, the pair admit there will be tough times to come, but Josh says the discipline of rugby has prepared him well.
“Rugby has taught me patience, consistency and communication. Although Bonnie would probably say I’m still a work in progress at home,” jokes Josh.
“I think you can say that for all males!” responds Bonnie.
She says she never used to understand why wives and girlfriends of rugby players seemed to put their own lives and careers on hold.
A former personal trainer now in gym management, Bonnie loves her job, as well as being a mum, but she now has a new perspective on what it takes to be part of a rugby family.
“After almost a year of it, I understand what is involved with the travel and commute, and working six months on and six months off,” she reflects. “I’ve had big challenges with this, but I think I now see the bigger picture. It has made me change my perspective.”
The pair met four years ago, when Josh first moved to Taranaki from Auckland, aged only 19. Bonnie’s friends “hung around the footy boys”. While he had his eye on her very early on, she simply thought about him as “the young, new, annoying boy fresh to New Plymouth”.
But once she got the opportunity to talk to him and discover he was “like an old soul”, her opinion very quickly changed.
Looking to the future
From the beginning, the couple knew they both wanted parenthood. And while neither of them was in a rush, they talked about it openly and it seemed a natural decision once they knew they wanted to stay together.
With their second baby expected to be an early Christmas present, due on 23 December, the pair will have their hands full with the two children only 18 months apart.
But Josh says being a dad is something that came naturally to him and, this time around, he’s looking forward to being more hands-on.
“I’m definitely excited and can’t wait to carry around a little number two,” he enthuses. “I wish I’d been around more to watch Jorji grow up, so I’m stoked and relieved we’ll all be together.”
Their plans almost certainly include a wedding – “There have been some hints dropped,” confides Josh – but for now, the couple say that’s not a priority and raising a family together is the ultimate commitment.
