Pictures: Michelle Hyslop
Arriving fashionably late to her own white-themed 50th birthday bash, Jay-Jay Feeney slinks into the rooftop bar of an Auckland hotel wearing a cosy white dressing gown, prompting wolf whistles from the 80 close friends and family who have gathered to help her celebrate. They’re also wearing white, as per the instructions on the invitation.
But wait… Is Jay-Jay in her PJs? Or has she just given up on dressing up now she’s reached her half-century?
No, once all eyes are on her, the More FM radio legend and Woman’s Day columnist rips off the gown to reveal a red-hot mini dress covered in sparkling sequins. Ta-dah! Though she insists she’s really “very shy”, the birthday girl is happy to be centre of attention tonight – and she’s ready to party!
But first, there are speeches. Two of Jay-Jay’s closest gal pals literally sing her praises as “the most caring, kindest and most generous person” they know, while her ex Dominic Harvey reminisces over her 35th birthday party, where she was “definitely the drunkest person in the room” and tried to control the turntables with her breasts, calling herself “DJ D-Cups”.
Then it’s Jay-Jay’s turn. “I’m not ready to be 50 yet,” she wails jokingly. “I haven’t achieved my goal of where I thought I’d be. I thought I’d be rich! But sadly, none of my toyboys have been able to support me, which has been a big disappointment.”
Turning serious, she continues, “My life has been full of drama, but I feel lucky I’ve been able to live my dream of being on the radio. It’s all I ever wanted to do. Ever since I was a little kid, I just wanted to entertain people.”
Jay-Jay unsuccessfully chokes back tears as she thanks all the important people in her life, then there’s another surprise: “I have a special guest – an international superstar who performed at Rod Stewart’s 65th birthday!”
It’s none other than British-based tribute act “Rud Stewart”, who belts out a few of Sir Rod’s biggest hits to the delighted crowd, before Jay-Jay’s More FM co-host Paul “Flynny” Flynn takes to the decks, spinning crowd-pleasing tunes that have the dancefloor pumping for the rest of the night.
Speaking to Woman’s Day once the hangover has faded, Jay-Jay says, “I originally just wanted to go away for a long weekend because I hate being in the spotlight, but I’m glad I decided to have the party because seeing the people I care about all enjoying themselves and going out of their way to be there for me was hugely humbling.”
So why did she decide to have the do? Sighing, the newly single star says, “Well, I broke up with my boyfriend, so I didn’t have anyone to go on a long weekend away with!”
Jay-Jay’s referring to her former partner of two and a half years, Hoani Molnar, 29, whom she split from in early February, less than a month after their romantic trip to Vanuatu.
“It’s hard to talk about, but there’s nothing bad between us. He’s a great guy, I love him to bits and we had heaps of fun. I was happy with how it was going, but to go to the next level, your heart has to be in it and mine just wasn’t. I didn’t lead him on, but I was hoping my feelings would grow.
“Then I was about to turn 50, I started re-evaluating my life and I just didn’t see a future. I realised he’s young and he wants to make plans for the next stage of his life. I was just holding him back. We had our time and I had to set him free. He was surprised when I told him and I probably should’ve got out earlier to save him the heartache, but he’s taken it well. He sent me the most beautiful message.”
Pulling out her phone, Jay-Jay reads a text from Hoani, saying, “Happiest of birthdays. Can’t believe you’re 50 today! I just wanna wish you an amazing day. Thank you so much for being you as you bring a true smile to everyone’s faces, including mine. I’m so incredibly lucky to have shared some very special moments with you. Each and every one meant the world to me. Don’t stop being awesome! Enjoy the party with your friends and family tonight. Love you so much.”
Despite there being no animosity, Jay-Jay did not invite Hoani to her party. She explains, “It’s too soon. We’re going to be friends, but I didn’t want to confuse feelings, especially with so much alcohol around. And no, I’m not ready for another relationship. I’m not even thinking about it right now!”
Jay-Jay admits she’s “still coming to terms” with her milestone birthday.
“I’m officially an old woman. But I’m just going to have to suck it up. I’ve only got 30 or so years left on the planet, all going well. The first 50 went so fast, I’m going to be dead before I know it.
“I’m not rich enough to retire and I know I should be living my best life, but I’ve done so much in my first 50 years that I’m exhausted. I just want to watch TV, have dinner in and have a few wines with my friends. I’ve had a very colourful life, with so many amazing experiences, there’s nothing more I want to do!”
In her half-century on this planet, the bestselling author and Dancing With The Stars contestant – born Jacqulyn-Joanne Barbara Feeney – says her greatest professional accomplishment is winning the Outstanding Contribution to Radio trophy at the New Zealand Radio Awards in 2018.
But what she’s proudest of is her friendship with former co-host Dom, 51, whom she split from in 2017 after 13 years of marriage.
Jay-Jay says, “We’ve got the best relationship out of everyone I know and it’s been really hard to achieve. I still feel really close and connected to him. I did feel like a little bit of a loser that our marriage didn’t last, but I’m so lucky I had it. Actually, I’m still married to him! But he’s got a new partner and I had a new partner, and we’re all fine with that.”
Indeed, Jay-Jay gave a shout-out to Dom’s girlfriend Ash Males in her birthday speech, thanking her for “taking me on as relationship baggage”. To this, Ash, 29, responded, “You’re the best part of our relationship!”
Asked if she and Dom will ever divorce, Jay-Jay admits, “It comes up in chats. If he wants to get married again or I want to, we’ll divorce. We’re not going to be a***holes about it, but we’ll only do it when we need to do it.”
When the topic of regrets arises, Jay-Jay says that she has devoted too much time to trying to reconcile her “fractured” family. The product of a one-night stand, she has 10 half-siblings, many of them only recently discovered through ancestry websites. “My dad was randy in the ’70s!” she quips.
Her mum Robynne, her brothers Poull and Ramon, and her sister Georgia attended her party.
“I don’t like everyone in my family,” Jay-Jay admitted in her speech. She explains, “We just have too many different personalities and we’ll never all agree on anything. It sucks when it’s family as you should always be there for each other, but I’ve learned not to dwell on the negatives and just move on.”
What legacy does she want to leave behind? “When I die, I’d like people to say I was generous, funny and caring, and that I did anything for anyone that needed me. I’m famous for being on the radio and entertaining people, but at the end of the day, I care about people.”
Woman’s Day can vouch for that, but hopefully that eulogy won’t be needed for a few decades yet. In the meantime, what does the future hold for Jay-Jay?
“I’m actively thinking about that,” she confesses. “The media landscape’s changing so fast. While I love what I do and I’ll keep doing radio as long as I can, I also like to feel secure and I need other options just in case this job falls over. I still haven’t come up with an answer, but you can guarantee I won’t be going into real estate. I’m too lazy to be a salesperson!”
Although she’s working on that laziness. Jay-Jay recently signed up for former The Bachelor Australia star Sam Wood’s online fitness programme, which has seen her lose five kilos of her 20kg goal.
“I have a love-hate relationship with my body and I’ve put on a lot of weight since lockdown,” she admits. “I really don’t like exercise, but Sam’s workouts are less than 30 minutes and the meal plans are so easy. I’ve already lost 6cm off my hips. But for me, it’s not about numbers – I just want to be able to wear a bikini, hopefully before I go to Bali in July.”
And no, the temptation to resort to surgery hasn’t struck her… yet! Jay-Jay laughs, “Apart from my breast reduction, I’m all natural. No Botox or fillers – the chub fills out the frown lines. But never say never. Maybe when I’m 60. Depends on how old my boyfriend is at the time!”
