It’s a fair bet that if Helena McAlpine could see the hundreds of heartfelt tributes, witty words and poignant prose dedicated to her after her death, she would, in her own words, be “punching the air and howling at the moon”.
She might have come to our attention as a presenter for music channel C4, but it was the bolshie Brit’s larger-than-life character, bawdy cackle, huge appetite for fun, beautiful love story and role as a passionate ambassador for the New Zealand Breast Cancer Foundation that made her a well-known public figure.
News of Helena’s death at age 37 on September 23, surrounded by family and friends on a wet, wintry Wednesday afternoon, is not the story Woman’s Day was meant to be sharing. The mother of 15-year-old daughter Shannon planned to tell us all about her beautiful Italian honeymoon with her handsome husband Christopher Barton.
It was a blissful, month-long gallivant around castles and beaches, eating amazing pizzas and quite literally drinking in everything the stunning country has to offer. We’d talked about an exotic overseas photo shoot.“I love, love, love, love Italy!” Helena wrote in her last email to us, apologising for sounding “garbled” because she’d barely spoken to anyone in English for days.
Anyone, that was, apart from her husband Chris, the “last true bachelor in Auckland”, as she called him at their fairytale woodland wedding, complete with petting zoo, in Coromandel on December 20 last year.
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The happy couple with (from left): Hollie Smith, Helena’s sister Renee, maid of honour Samantha, daughter Shannon and Shavaughn Ruakere.
On Helena’s big day, it rained nonstop and a devious miniature pony named Marshmallow, dressed as a unicorn, tried to eat her spectacular pink Natalie Chan gown, but looking like a dazzling, F-bomb-dropping Cinderella with self-described “lumpy, wonky titties”, Helena didn’t care a bit.
As the night sky lit up with fireworks, the beaming bride – surrounded by 170 guests from around the world, including her best friends, musician Hollie Smith, actress Shavaughn Ruakere and radio host Clarke Gayford – turned to us and proclaimed, “No matter how perfect the dress is and how big the cake is, the best thing is just knowing that I am going to spend the rest of my life with this incredible man. I’m a very lucky lady.”
On Facebook last week, it was Chris’ turn to pay tribute to his late wife. “Like many of you, I thought she was bullet-proof, such a strong, beautiful woman,” he wrote. “We became the centre of each other’s universe and, for that, I will be eternally grateful.”
Her gorgeous daughter Shannon added, “Today we lost someone so amazing. Thank you to all those who have supported us through this tough time. Mum was such an outgoing person and for those that didn’t know her, she was so soft and kind. RIP, Mum.”
Ferocious fighter
Helena’s battle with cancer is well documented. First diagnosed in October 2009, she underwent a full mastectomy and reconstruction, beating the disease with gruelling chemotherapy and her unique blend of humour and positivity. Tragically, the cancer reappeared in late 2012 and by the time she realised, it had spread all through her body.
Doctors gave Helena just months to live, but the headstrong star took absolutely no notice. An operation to remove her ovaries extended her life expectancy, inspiring a bucket list, or “f***-it list”, as she jokingly called it, of outlandish dreams.
She stroked a honey badger, had a bit part on Shortland Street, caught a shark and generally went about living her extraordinary life on borrowed time. She also bravely appeared topless in Woman’s Day, baring her scarred and battered body in a bid to educate women about breast cancer.
Throughout our many photo shoots, London-born Helena – who moved to New Zealand at 22 after marrying Kiwi bloke Brett McAlpine – was so vibrant, so utterly effervescent, that it was hard to believe she had a terminal illness. Despite taking a daily cocktail of 20 pills, which induced nausea and lethargy, she never stopped moving at anything less than the pace of a whirlwind. “Hurricane Helena” was one of her many nicknames.
She’d had her fair share of battles. Before her cancer diagnosis, when Helena was made redundant from C4 in January 2009, she suffered, not for the first time, from a crippling depression and was eventually diagnosed as bipolar. But with a little help from her huge group of friends, she bounced back with bells on, telling Woman’s Day, “Every 24 hours is a celebration of the last 24 hours.”
When the cancer – a golf ball-sized lump in her left breast – was discovered, Helena carried on her life under that mantra. And even more so when the cancer returned. At any given time, she could be seen holding court somewhere on Auckland’s Ponsonby Road – her unofficial HQ – talking 10 to the dozen and cackling loudly alongside her mates and beloved Labrador-cross Murphy. She confessed she “wasn’t exactly a catch”, nor was she really looking for romance, when she fell madly in love with hunky banker Chris, 37, at the wedding of mutual friends, five years after they’d first locked eyes at an event in Auckland.
Chris and Helena celebrate their engagement in 2014
Husband’s love
Last week, Chris shared a romantic diary entry he wrote in October 2013: “Something inside of me melts and warms when I hear her voice. Every time I look in her eyes, they sparkle.
“Her perfect smile makes me smile, and her warmth make me want to touch her and kiss her constantly. She makes me feel loved like I have never been loved before.”
Chris’ proposal in mid-2014, under a blood moon in Rarotonga, was a dream come true. “If love can happen to me, it can happen to anyone,” Helena marvelled while shooting pictures for our engagement story.
The pair spent their precious time living, loving and road-tripping around New Zealand in Chris’ beloved 1971 Chrysler Valiant. The small Coromandel town of Opoutere, where they married, was Helena’s special place – “a beautiful, calm, lovely, healing area”, as she described it in a rare moment of quiet contemplation.
More recently, Helena confessed that death scared her. It had been on her mind a lot the past few months.
“Dying early seems unfair,” she said. “I don’t want to miss out on this paradise. I am scared about the pain. I’m scared about what will happen to my family and what closing
my eyes for the last time will feel like.”
But nearly always, happiness and gratitude won out. And the poster girl for positivity was resounding proof that a terminal illness and a cracking sense of humour are not mutually exclusive.
Even when Helena was in the depths of sickness, she’d post goofy, face-pulling pics on social media, laughing in the face of the disease that relentlessly tried to claim her. After all, it was six years ago that she was given just months to live.
In the end, cancer won the battle, but the amazing outpouring of love that has flowed since Helena’s tragic passing has shown she most definitely won the war. And wherever she is right now, there’s a good chance she’s punching the air, howling at the moon – and dancing with dress-munching unicorns.
