She’s appeared on 1 News, Breakfast, Dancing With The Stars* and The Crowd Goes Wild, not to mention her stints as a snowboarder and Green Party candidate. Now, after more than 20 years in the spotlight, TVNZ sports presenter Hayley Holt is lifting the lid on her life in the spotlight in a tell-all autobiography.
“It was quite a tough, confronting process and I’m very nervous,” Hayley , 42, tells Woman’s Day of writing her book Second Chances: Facing My Demons And Finding A Better Me, which will be published by HarperCollins New Zealand in April.
“I felt like everyone wanted to know what was going on behind the scenes when I lost Frankie [her first child] and the stories from when I was still deep in my alcoholism. I had that hidden life and my real life was very different from what you saw on screens, so I wanted to be a bit more open and share what happened, so people can understand.”
The star is nervous but determined to help others by putting her hard truths out there in April.
Hayley was inspired by her time in Alcoholics Anonymous, explaining, “The thing that helped me the most was hearing people share stories of their hard feelings and bad behaviour, all of which I could relate to. Everyone has their dark side and it’s really healing to know that.”
Hayley had expected the hardest part of the process to be reliving the stillbirth of son Frankie Tai six months into her pregnancy, but the most difficult thing was actually “going back to those drinking days”, she says. “I’d thought I was just a bit cheeky and the stories were so funny, but when I put the words on paper, I realised some of my behaviour was not nice. The things that happened to me are hard to take, but it’s things I did to other people that bring guilt and shame.”
Writing the book – which also covers her recent diagnosis with ADHD – was “intense but cathartic” for Hayley, who says she feels “a lot lighter putting it all out there”. Although becoming a mum to her son Raven James five months ago has “brought the biggest amount of healing” to her and partner Josh Tito.
“Writing a book with all the hormones that come with motherhood contributed to the intense feelings, but he’s just so cute and he’s such a lovely, lovely rainbow boy. We love him so much.”
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