Congratulations on becoming a grandparent! The arrival of a grandchild is exciting and can bring a family closer together.
But as well as great joy, it can bring challenges. Here are some mistakes even the most well-meaning grandparents make, and how to avoid them.
Sticking your nose in where it’s not wanted
You just want to help, and when it comes to parenting, you’ve got so much experience and knowledge you’re eager to share. But if you overdo it and start telling the new parents what they should be doing, you may be seen as interfering and told to butt out.
By all means make an offer of your assistance and advice, but then step back and wait for it to be called upon.
Expecting your parenting style to be passed on
Just because you raised your kids a certain way, it doesn’t mean the next generation is going to follow the same parenting style when it comes to bringing up their own children.
You may not agree with the way they do things, but you need to let them get on with it.
Spoiling your grandkids
Yes, part of your role is to spoil the children – that’s pretty much an unwritten rule. But it is possible to get carried away and cause problems, especially if you end up undermining the parents and the rules they have established.
Check with the parents about what you can and can’t do when it comes to their kids, and respect their rules.
Having unrealistic expectations
You may have very definite ideas about the role you see yourself playing, but it may bear no resemblance to what your child and their partner have in mind. They may not want you to be involved in child-minding, for example, and that’s their right.
It’s important to communicate about the part you are going to play in your grandkids’ lives to avoid misunderstandings and disappointment.
Being taken for granted
At the other end of the scale, you can end up becoming an unpaid babysitting service, and while many grandparents don’t mind, others may resent being expected to drop everything to look after the grandkids.
If such a situation develops, it needs to be sorted out as soon as possible because it can make you feel negative towards the little ones, and that’s not fair.
Take a look at is tough love parenting ok? here.
