Celebrity grandparents tell how their beloved grandchildren changed their lives

How did you react to learning you were going to be a grandparent?

I’d just arrived in London and my daughter Kate passed me a piece of paper. I was jet-lagged, didn’t have my glasses and had no idea what I was looking at. Finally she blurted out that she was pregnant. We laughed and cried, and I thought my heart would burst.

Hearing about Dora was also beyond glorious. Just before she was due, Kate’s husband Ranko broke his leg. Kate’s tiny but she was so big with Dora, she couldn’t pick up toddler Bart. I had a year’s sabbatical that year, so they rang me and said, “Mum! Come!” I was lucky to be able to drop everything, fly across the world and be there to welcome Dora.

How has becoming a grandparent changed life?

There’s so much joy and fun. So many precious moments that I store in my heart and bring out at quiet times. They are clever, funny and interesting, and I love every moment with them. I’ve never not wanted to be with them. It’s such a privilege to have them in my life.

What activities do you enjoy with Bart and Dora?

I love reading, swimming, exploring and travelling with them, having them to myself up in the Hokianga, cooking with them, playing cards and board games, chatting to them and learning from them.

What traditions or values do you hope to pass down?

I hope they’ll always know how truly, deeply loved they are. I’m glad they inherited a love of reading. I want them to understand they’re a part of a wider community that they have responsibilities to and I want them to always appreciate the joy in life.

What’s the most important thing for grandparents to remember?

Take every precious moment because there’ll come a time when they don’t want you to plait their hair, play a game or go to the beach with them. The answer is always “yes” when the question is “Can you mind the kids?” But I’m also aware these are not my children. I follow the parents’ rules – luckily they’re sensible parents! They always have the final say. I’m just there for the best bits.

How did you react to learning you were going to be a grandparent?

I screamed and cried tears of joy. It was a shock as my daughter Tonica had always said she wasn’t going to have babies. Tonica thought I’d say she was too young – she was 29 – and I had to remind her I was 10 years younger than that when I got pregnant with her! I said she’d be absolutely fine and she is doing so well.

How has it changed your life?

It’s difficult to explain this unreal feeling you get with a grandbaby – they’re such a treasure. It gives you a second chance at parenthood – you’re so much more comfortable and have much more experience. I’m more chill with Ala than I was with my own kiddies. And having her has made me fall in love with Tonica all over again for the fantastic mum that she is.

What activities do you enjoy with Ala?

Because she’s still a newborn, it’s lots of cuddles at the moment. I missed her birth because Tonica’s labour was so short. I was in the hospital car park when Ala was born – fast little rascal – but I did get to pop her into her first outfit. Nat [Megan’s fiancée Natalie McDade] and I are having fun setting up a baby space for Ala in our home, and enjoying all the baby products available now. With online shopping and fast delivery, it’s so handy, not like back in our day!

What traditions and values do you hope to pass down?

It’s important that she has a good mix of all her cultures – Kiwi, Māori, South African, Tongan, German and Japanese – so we’ll mark special occasions from those cultures and introduce languages where we can.

I love the values of respect, loyalty and honesty that my parents passed on to me and my siblings. They taught us to love deep, be humble, always believe in yourself, be a kind human and leave a positive footprint. I passed that on to my children, and I hope I can help Tonica and her partner Brandon instil those values in Ala too.

What’s the most important thing for grandparents to remember?

That you are not the parent. The parents will most likely do things differently, but that’s okay. I think we can learn from this new generation, so I’m going to trust that Tonica and Brandon will do a fabulous job.

How did you react to learning you were going to be a grandparent?

It wasn’t something I had imagined happening for a few more years, but surprise quickly turned to delight. Babies are such a blessing and I knew my daughter Lucy would make an exceptional mother.

How has it changed your life?

Kaia arrived at a very tumultuous time for me – right after an emergency hospital stay and just before my second breast cancer diagnosis. The excitement of her arrival was a real tonic to counterbalance the chemotherapy drugs! She’s made me appreciate the simple things again. I get to see the world through her eyes, watching her discover and learn, without the stresses that can come with parenting. And it’s brought Lucy and I even closer together.

What activities do you enjoy with Kaia?

Kaia is a beach baby, so I’m looking forward to shared downtime this summer, building sandcastles and jumping over waves. We love reading stories together and dancing to a good beat. She also loves to make my coffee every morning – she has the routine down pat – and to share my breakfast, then “help” me put on my make-up. She has a very cheeky sense of humour!

What traditions or values do you hope to pass down?

The importance of family, of having each other’s backs through thick and thin, and unconditional love. To practice kindness and empathy. And I hope to help give Kaia a strong sense of self-worth – I think it’s one of the greatest gifts.

What’s the most important thing for grandparents to remember?

While grandchildren are a special part of us, they are not ours. We need to allow our children to parent their way and not offer advice unless asked for it. Not everyone is lucky enough to experience the unique joy of being a grandparent, so treasure every moment – they really do grow up so fast!