1 You still don’t sleep through the night –especially at weekends.
2 You can no longer use ‘go to your room’ as punishment.
3 You realise the traits that annoy you the most are the ones they got from you.
4 All your plates and mugs slowly vanish and you’re forced to go on a perilous rescue mission under your child’s bed.
5 You’ve accepted the sad truth they won’t want to hang out with you unless you’re buying them something.
6 Your wine consumption goes up…
7 …Followed by your vodka consumption, until you discover the bottle has actually been topped up with water.
8 Whenever they say ‘I have something to tell you’, your first thought is ‘Oh God, I am so not ready for grandkids.’
9 With this in mind, you buy condoms with the weekly shop…
10 … therefore your teen always has more cash than you.
11 You fear losing the use of your legs as you’re NEVER allowed to get out of the car.
12 No homework really means ‘I have tonnes but I’ll start it Sunday night after dinner’.
13 You can also no longer help with said homework as it’s too hard.
14 Slamming doors are the soundtrack to your life.
15 You inexplicably know all the words to One Direction songs without ever trying to.
16 Everything you say is followed with, ‘I knooooooooow!’
17 You’re astounded how someone who can text/tweet/Facebook/Snapchat and work the remote all at the same time still can’t figure out how to turn
on the dishwasher.
18 You’ve begun to think eye rolling is standard human behaviour.
19 The phone charger is never where you bloody left it.
20 Everybody else’s parents are sooooooo much cooler than you.
21 But then you have started to repeat your own mother’s phrases.
22 You declare them impossible to live with but dread the day they will finally say goodbye.
