Back in your childless days you enjoyed sampling the newest, trendiest bars and restaurants. Now, somewhere that serves alcohol and doesn't have highchairs is your ONLY stipulation.
And you almost lose the will to live as you try and co-ordinate diaries ruled by tiny people.
Nothing and no one is coming between you and this night out – especially not your offspring or a flaky babysitter!
New lippie - check. Bringing your handbag from your past life out of its dust bag. Yep, you’ve still got it, mama!
Each coat had to be fitted in around naptime.
You’ll also probably have Freedom by George Michael playing in your head.
Never mind the fact it’s Tuesday, this time may never come again!
In fact, you’re first to splash out on a round of Jägerbombs.
You'll also each have a pack of baby wipes stashed away.
Excitement + booze = peaking waaaay too early.
‘Another bottle? Sure!’
These women will know far more than they could ever possibly want to about your sex life, post baby body and birth experience. Your O/H will be pleased!
‘Look, we’re out, and we’re HAVING FUN!’
Or baby-led weaning. Or toilet training… or quite possibly all three.
But this is just more reason to start ordering espresso martinis, right?!
Her claims of taking allergy medicine and being ‘on antibiotics’ just rouse suspicion even more.
… when you wake up the next morning however, you realise it’s really not.
And then you lose an hour to Timehop.
Your head hurts. But nothing will be more painful than tomorrow’s hangover with a sound track of Peppa Pig and the relentless noise of energetic children. Hoorah!