After capturing hearts and headlines on the controversial British reality show Virgin Island, participant Emma Cains has traded grey British skies for Kiwi sunshine – and she’s not looking back!
“I just needed a reset,” the 23-year-old tells Woman’s Day, speaking from her temporary base in Auckland. “I came to New Zealand to heal and to figure out who I really am.”
As a cast member on Virgin Island – a provocative TVNZ+ series that follows young people exploring intimacy for the first time while under the supervision of professionals on a tropical island – Emma’s vulnerability made her stand out, and also sparked conversations about consent and self-worth. Emma’s personal healing has been a long time coming.
Why Emma said yes to Virgin Island
“It was my last resort,” she explains of going on the show.
Saying yes wasn’t about chasing fame, but about reaching a breaking point.
“I was 23 and I’d never had a relationship,” she shares.
“I’d never even had sex. I felt like something was wrong with me. I remember thinking, ‘If I don’t try something big now, will anything ever change?’”
Despite being “scared of intimacy”, Emma made the decision to share some personal experiences on telly, including painful events from her childhood.
“I’d never heard anyone on TV talk about the kind of things I went through,” she says.
“I thought that if I can help even one person by telling the truth, then maybe all that pain wasn’t for nothing.”
Childhood trauma and public support
Emma bravely opened up about being exposed to inappropriate behaviour by peers at a sleepover when she was very young, which shaped her fears around physical closeness. While she’s always been open with her family, Emma says the support she received from the public after the show aired was overwhelming.
“I’ve had messages from strangers saying, ‘You helped me make sense of my own story.’ That’s amazing.”
But she admits the months after filming weren’t easy.
“There was a huge comedown. I was suddenly alone again. No cameras, no producers – just me and everything I’d said out loud. I had to face a lot.”
That’s when Emma decided to book a one-way ticket to Aotearoa. But the move wasn’t entirely random – her dad’s side of the family lives here.
“My aunty lives in Auckland and my cousins are here too,” she says.
“I just felt like I needed to be away from everything. New Zealand felt like the opposite of where I was and I didn’t know anyone, other than family, so that was perfect.”
Building a life in New Zealand
Emma is now trying to secure a longer-term visa, with a job that allows her to connect with others.
“I love talking to people,” she enthuses.
“I’ve done fundraising, retail, and some advocacy. I don’t have a degree, but I’ve got a big heart and a loud voice.”
She’s been hitting the pavements around Auckland, handing out CVs.
“It’s hard when places say they don’t take working-holiday visas,” she says.
“I’m trying to stay hopeful, but even Denny’s turned me down!”
Opening up to love again
As for her love life, Emma says she’s finally open to the idea of a relationship. She even went on a date with her co-star Viraj Chotai after the show, but it felt too soon to take things further.
“It wouldn’t have been fair to him or me,” she tells.
Despite that, the two still keep in touch, and Emma is grateful for the chance to open up about herself and to explore what a relationship could look like, even if it’s not the right time yet.
“I’ve had a couple of other situations since the show,” she teases.
“Nothing serious. But I’m definitely less afraid now. I’m not rushing. I’ve waited this long, right?”
Her dream partner? “Someone emotionally intelligent, with good chat and good tea,” she laughs.
“Someone who gets that I’m still learning how to trust. I’m not broken – I just need time.”
A fresh start and new horizons
Emma’s visit to New Zealand may have started as a temporary escape, but it’s quickly a place she sees a future in.
“This country gave me space to breathe again and to feel proud of myself,” she says.
“I don’t know if I’ll stay forever, but I’m not ready to leave yet.”
In true Emma fashion, she grins, “Or maybe someone will just pay me to be fabulous and exist. I’d take that too!”
Virgin Island is streaming on TVNZ+.
