Surrounded by family and friends, stage and screen legend Miriama McDowell celebrated her 40th birthday with a Lion Queen party – “because I’m a Leo” – where guests dressed as jungle animals and lip-synched to the song Circle Of Life.
Three years on, Miriama has fond memories of the night – including the heartfelt speech one of her besties, fellow acting powerhouse Bree Peters, delivered.
About to appear together on stage for the first time in five years, the duo tell Woman’s Day about their close friendship – one so close that Bree flew home from Australia, where she was starring in Home And Away, for one night only to speak at Miriama’s birthday.
Reflecting on what their friendship means, there is laughter and a few tears wiped away when the tough times are recalled.
“I love that she owns her flaws as much as her strengths, I love that my kids love her more than they love me and that she’s one of the best actors in New Zealand,” says Miriama, smiling at her friend.
In turn, Bree describes the Whina and Head High star as fun, generous with her knowledge and time, and hugely caring. “And I have never felt so good about myself as an actor than when I am with her.”
Bree, well-known for roles on Shortland Street and Find Me A Māori Bride, is also delighted that she gets to play a big part in the lives of Miriama’s two daughters, Talanoa (Lala), 11, and Hero, four.
“I think it’s a big deal sharing your kids with someone to the point where Mim has said, ‘Can you take Lala shopping because I know she’d rather be with you!'” tells Bree, now the acting coach for the young stars of Netflix sensation Sweet Tooth, which is filmed in New Zealand.
Explains Miriama, “I figured out really early on, when Lala was quite young, that Bree would be the aunty who would introduce her to cool music and clips on YouTube. I knew I would never be that person for her and I am so lucky to have a friend who does that for her.”
Miriama knew Bree would be the cool aunty to her girl Lala.
It’s partly thanks to Talanoa that Miriama and Bree became so close. While their paths had crossed briefly before, in 2010 and 2011, they started getting to know one another properly as they rehearsed for a play, Havoc In The Garden, while Miriama was pregnant.
Bree recalls leaning down to talk to the unborn baby through Miriama’s stomach, opening up about how she felt about life back then. Bree candidly admits she was depressed and those feelings were impacting on how she forged friendships. Looking for guidance from Miriama, Bree was surprised when she received frank and candid advice rather than mollycoddling.
“These adult conversations, which were initially really challenging, became real forks in the road for me, and a couple of years later, I am giving the same advice to friends,” says Bree.
“I wouldn’t have said anything that I didn’t think you weren’t ready to hear,” replies Miriama. “I could see, ‘this person is really vulnerable in this situation and I want her to be stronger in the world because I love her and I care about her.'”
Miriama likens their friendship to tuakana-teina – a relationship between an older (tuakana) and younger (teina) person, which fosters learning, growth and development. Initially, she started out as the tuakana, but now there are times when Bree, in her thirties, takes that role.
“There was a real shift when I became a solo parent,” recalls Miriama. “I feel like Bree stepped in and just held me, in a way. I remember her writing me this thing, like a prescription from the doctor – she pretended to be the GP – and prescribed all these things that I needed in order to move on in my life and to be well. I’m going to cry just talking about it!
“Some were funny, like remember to eat chips every day, and a bag of chips came with the prescription. But then there were deeper things like know that your friends will support you, know that you are not alone and know that when you’re ready to go on a date, I will look after your daughter so you can go.”
Without the practical help friends like Bree provided, Miriama doubts she could have sustained her acting and directing career.
Miriama and Bree appear in The Wasp at Auckland’s Q Theatre, 14–24 September.
Now the duo is preparing to star together in the play The Wasp. Originally asked by its British playwright to direct the play, Miriama says it was so good, she wanted to be in it – and there was only one other person she wanted to take the second leading role. “I thought of Bree instantly because she is amazing and I look up to her as an actor. She’s just so good.”
