Pictures: Danni Bishara.
The past year has been full of milestones and memorable moments for new mum Edna Stephen (née Swart), but nothing was as unforgettable as introducing her baby boy Astyn to her birth mother while on holiday in South Africa.
“It was really emotional seeing her reaction to meeting her grandson for the first time,” tells the star of reality shows Celebrity Treasure Island and BossBabes, who was adopted at birth. “It still makes me quite teary and, for her, it’s a raw wound that reopens.
“I can only imagine seeing a grandchild for the first time and wondering what could have been. One of her biggest regrets was giving me away – she has to live with that forever – but we know she couldn’t have given me the life that I have now.”
Edna, 35, her husband Reid, Astyn and 10 members of Reid’s family spent three weeks with Edna’s birth mum Carien as they travelled South Africa, with the Ed&I skincare CEO playing tour guide.
Edna wondered how much of the incredible wildlife then-10-month-old Astyn would take in, but his reactions said it all. “Watching his face light up when he saw lions and elephants for the first time made it all worth it!” she says.
That’s not to say the trip was all rainbows.
“It wasn’t a holiday because it wasn’t at all relaxing!” she laughs. “Ten months is a full-on age. He was super-clingy and we didn’t have a routine or the comfort of home… It was a little chaotic!”
Edna’s pregnancy was a surprise to her and Reid, who celebrated their two-year wedding anniversary when Astyn was two weeks old. But the entrepreneur says getting through sleep deprivation and mountains of nappies has made their relationship stronger.
“My advice to all young women is to find the right partner,” she explains. “That 50:50 thing – make sure they get it. Reid is hands-on. We share the load. Some days, he’ll run me a bath, pour me a wine and take over when I need to tap out. And I’ll do the same for him. We’re in this together and we talk everything out. We don’t hold back.”
For Hirepool manager Reid’s recent 30th, the couple enjoyed a rare hotel night with mini-golf and cocktails. The night reminded them that they can still have a life as parents.
“Having a baby’s not the end of life as you know it, but there’s definitely sacrifice,” says Edna. “Losing the autonomy to do what you want, when you want, is probably the hardest part of becoming a mum.”
Now one year old, Astyn’s blossoming into an affectionate little boy.
“He hugs everything – even his toys,” shares Edna. “He’s chill and content, but he’s just started learning to be cheeky and testing boundaries. He’ll look at us sideways and try to touch things he knows he shouldn’t.”
Friday nights are family movie nights, while mornings start with 5am snuggles in bed and story time.
To mark Astyn’s first birthday, the couple planned a long restaurant lunch with the 22 close friends and whānau who have supported them.
Edna describes the past year as being “the most beautiful, challenging, chaotic and rewarding 12 months of my life. Seeing the world again through his eyes has slowed me down in the best possible way”.
But it doesn’t mean Edna’s taken her foot off the gas. The past year has been Ed&I’s most successful to date, with 107% growth, two new product launches, including the recent With Milk line, and expansion into the US. She’s still the sole full-time employee of her business, so she’s had to work out how to schedule her life.
“Now I block out work time, mum time and wife time,” she tells. “I used to work late into the night, but now when my nanny finishes at 4pm, that’s when I become Mum again.”
Edna’s also focusing on her podcast, Reality Of The Hustle, where she explores topics like business, motherhood and relationships – “all the things that require constant hustle”.
Her most popular episode featured her birth mother sharing her side of Edna’s adoption story. A new episode about her first year of motherhood drops this week. It gives a raw look at how Edna juggles it all.
“It’s raw, it’s honest, it’s human,” she says. “I want this podcast to be a space to be real and a vocal record of this chapter in my life.”
Meanwhile, Edna admits she briefly thought about trying for a daughter, but insists she’s “one and done”.
She smiles, “Once we went travelling, I was like, ‘Nope, I can barely manage one kid!’ If I was 25, maybe. But I’m 35 and we’re happy as three. Right now, this feels right.”
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