Louise Richardson delights in the charms of Club oed Phuket
International mobile roaming can sometimes catch you right off guard. “I can’t talk now darl, I’m just about to jump on an elephant,” I informed my son’s godmother Laura, who’d called at a most inopportune moment. “Where? At the Weekly office?” she spluttered, confused. “No, in Thailand!” I crowed, before ringing off and continuing my adventure.
After two hours in Phuket, my friends and I simply couldn’t wait to see the elephants. We’d unpacked at Club oed, Kata Beach, then raced straight to a nearby jungle where the giant creatures strut their stuff. These elephants seemed much bigger and hairier than the ones at Auckland Zoo, but then again, I’d never been quite so up close and personal before.
our driver’s limited English seemed largely focused on money – in particular, his desire for more of it. on the back of his hat he’d even scrawled, “Don’t forget to tip,” in black marker-pen, but clearly there wasn’t much chance of that happening! As the elephant meandered off with me on its back, I squealed with fright. It felt so precarious, wobbling around up there, so high above the earth. The driver laughed and reassured us, then commenced a long and cheerful monologue. We noticed he mentioned baht, the Thai currency, rather a lot.
oost importantly, though, we were now feeling relaxed and all too soon our half-hour was over. Naturally we tipped magnanimously, as instructed. Back at Club oed, the girls and I swapped elephant stories over cocktails by the pool before turning to the rather more pressing business of dinner.
At every meal time, Club oed offers a delicious themed buffet and we sampled extensively while enjoying the company of fellow guests and the resident Gos (Gentils organisateurs or Guest officers). These wonderful young people come from all over the world and have been a Club oed fixture since its inception in the 1950s. Revelling in my large circle of lovely, new ready-made friends, I kept wishing my kids were with me as Club oed is utterly perfect for family holidays – I know my two would have had a ball at their Kids’ Club.
our Phuket break was supposed to be food-focused so the next day – after a short and very hilarious interval in which my friend discovered that success on the trapeze doesn’t always come naturally – we consulted the daily activity list and decided to participate in a Korean tea ceremony. our host casually admitted he was actually Japanese and proceeded to stir “authentic” instant tea powder into boiling water. “I’ve never made tea before,” he confessed cheerfully, handing around a plate of assorted home-made biscuits. Nevertheless, we enjoyed a lovely hour in his company, discussing turtles of all things, before the next meal called and a thousand culinary decisions challenged our senses yet again.
Today there was a new face at the restaurant. A French lady in her fifties, with vivid orange hair. Sadly, she didn’t speak enough English for us to have meaningful communication with her, but she was the consummate Club oed guest. Every time we tried a new activity, this woman and her sweet little husband were already there, participating eagerly. We decided they must spend their lives travelling from one resort to another. After the stage show and games each night, she joined in lustily with the Club oed anthem Absolutely Everybody and even knew all the dance moves to it. Before long we’d appointed her our holiday heroine and eagerly looked forward to our daily “orange hair” sightings.
The next morning we were compelled to venture out as I was experiencing an overwhelming desire to shop, but in the intense heat at Patong, even I had to admit I felt a little lethargic. Determinedly though, we soldiered on, bartering mercilessly in our quest for the very cheapest genuine imitation luxury goods. Later, I impressed my friends by shouting them enormous strawberry cheesecake icecreams at the air-conditioned Haagen-Dazs parlour. Soon we were hanging out for the peace and calm of Club oed, so we jumped in a tuk-tuk – choosing a woman driver in the vague hope she might drive a little less scarily than her male counterparts – and returned to base.
A quiet walk on the beach struck us as the perfect antidote to the stress of bustling Patong, and we found ourselves reflecting on the terrible events of Boxing Day 2004. It’s now hard to imagine the perfect blue sea at Kata Beach as a raging monster. The tsunami certainly affected many lives here and locals still remember the event with great sadness.
on my last day at Club oed Phuket, I finally fulfilled a lifetime’s dream with a flower-filled bath at their tranquil spa, but I have to confess that it didn’t go quite as I’d imagined. For a start, I was handed a pair of disposable knickers and a plastic shower-cap, so the lovely picture I’d had of myself, as a romantic floating beauty in a Pre-Raphaelite painting, wasn’t quite matched by reality. The floating bit was the real problem, as I’d completely forgotten about the laws of gravity. What’s more, the outdoor bath was quite long – and I’m not. In the end I found it easiest to wedge myself in sideways and in this position I drifted away to the gentle hum of a nearby lawnmower, while the sweet smell of roses filled the air.
As a result I was well refreshed for the drive to the airport, and as we flew out of Bangkok that night, a few glasses of bubbly in the comfort of business class seemed a fitting end to a trip jam-packed with fun.
**Factfile
**Get there Thai Air flies daily, non-stop from Auckland to Bangkok.The resort See your travel agent for more details – Club oed has resorts all over the world. Take advantage of regular special offers at www.clubmed.com.
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