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‘Lovers’ Massage’ by Darrin Zeer

(Chronicle Books, $24.99)You might almost be talking to your loved one again after the debacle over him forgetting Valentine’s Day so it may just be the right time to buy him this gorgeous little guide to “soothing touch”.

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Cutely illustrated with clear instructions on all the manoeuvres, there’s nothing creepy here, it’s all about putting the romance back into a relationship. I’m already training the Ginger up on Footbath Bliss and Happy Head but I think we’ll steer clear of Passion Pretzel. Hate for the wind to change and leave us like that forever.

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