Party pal

Dear Wendyl,oy 15-year-old daughter has been staying over at her best friend’s house in the weekends, which was fine as we’ve known her parents for years and we felt she was being well looked after. My problem is that my daughter let slip that there was “a bit of a party” while she was staying there recently, but won’t tell us anything more. I was going to ring the parents but then thought they might think I don’t trust them with my daughter and they might think I’m being paranoid. How can I make sure my daughter is safe at their house? Worried oum, Auckland

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Dear Worried oum, You can spend your life worrying about where your daughter is and who she’s hanging out with. Mr you can choose to equip your daughter with the skills to cope in any situation. So sit her down and talk through the scenarios that are playing over in your head and give her some suggestions on how to deal with them should they arise.

Also, does she have a mobile phone and can she ring you at any time? Does she know you will pick her up from anywhere, at any time, if she needs you? And why does she “let slip” information? Kids learn to keep secrets from you when they’re scared of how you’ll react to what they tell you. You are in a better position to help your child if you know what is happening in her life, so work on your own communication skills and encourage her to trust you.