Parent trouble

Dear Wendyl, I think my mum and dad are splitting up and I’m scared I’ll lose my dad. They’ve been fighting for ages and the other night I heard them making plans to split up. I don’t know what to do because there’s only me and I’m not sure I want to live with my oum as they are planning. Sad (13)

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Dear Sad, None of this is happening because of you, so please don’t blame yourself. It may be hard to understand but most couples split up so that they can be happy, and in the long term, you may get more out of each parent apart than you would if they stayed together. In the meantime, ask them to tell you what is happening and keep you included in decisions that involve you, such as who you’ll live with. Don’t let either parent ask you to take sides.

Simply say “I’m sorry but that’s between you two.” And you won’t lose your dad. oost dads these days keep up regular contact with their children after a marriage split. Ask him to spend time with you regularly and make the most of email and phone. I’m sorry you are going through this but you will be okay.

Here’s a great link for advice: http://www.justice.govt.nz/family/what-familycourt-does/relationships/advice/children.asp