Family

In my experience, teenagers and gardening are an unlikely mix. Gardening probably rates as supremely uncool. In fact, I believe it would not even register on their radar because it doesn’t involve a screen or earplugs. But, putting aside any thought of them actually working in the garden, there are other ways to at least […]

How puberty affects kids – and how parents can help Here’s what to expect: Girls Puberty can happen anytime between the ages of eight and 14. The first signs are usually the beginning of breast growth and getting taller. Their hips will widen and they may develop curves. one breast may develop slightly more than […]

Kids can benefit from learning to take a few healthy risks. Raising a teenager can be a frightening business. Why aren’t they home? Who are they with? Why haven’t they called? Yet our kids are safer now than they have ever been, according to family therapist and social worker Michael Ungar, who wants us to […]

It can be distressing to find that your normally mild-mannered, well-behaved toddler has come home from daycare or a friend's house having attempted to bite a chunk out of another child. But this is normal behaviour, and the trick is not to overreact.

I’ve had lots of feedback on the problem of treating pimples naturally. I suggested tea-tree oil and Jo has sent in a great recipe (below). Jane suggested an old favourite of mine – vinegar. Simply make a mixture of 1tsp vinegar to 10tsp water. Put into a small bottle and dab on through the day. […]

Bottle-feeding a baby can be something that many parents find themselves doing without having expected to. Whether you're feeding expressed breast milk or formula, it is important to keep everything clean and bacteria-free.

Boys have real dangers in their lives. They are three times more likely than girls to die before the age of 21, and five times more likely to have problems at school, according to writer and psychologist Steve Biddulph. And he believes millions of boys have had fewer chances in life because we have failed […]

Research shows that acquiring an animal on a sudden impulse isn't always a good idea. What do you need to consider before letting your child get a pet?

Children love the beach and can spend hours happily playing in rock pools, investigating the sea life. But while most pools are filled with seaweed and sea snails, there can also be creatures lurking under those rocks that could harm your child.

one of the problems with the rise of the electronic age is that our kids have become used to letting TV and computers entertain them instead of finding things to do outdoors. oany of us still remember being told to “go outside and find something to do” but we are unwilling to let our children […]

Usually nightmares happen for no reason, but sometimes they can be the result of some sort of change or stress in your child’s life that may have unsettled them, such as moving house, changing schools or the arrival of a new sibling. Here are some tips for helping your child get over a nightmare and sleep uninterrupted… You can’t prevent nightmares, but you can take […]

Dear Wendyl, oy 12-year-old daughter couldn’t be lovelier. She has lots of friends, everyone loves her and we adore her. The only problem is that she is quite plain-looking and getting more plain as she grows older, which doesn’t matter to us a bit but she is getting really down about it. She is constantly putting herself down for her looks and her weight […]

Getting the kids back to school can be a relief for parents who are grateful for a return to a normal routine but, for others, it can mean the end of a relaxing summer and the stress of getting everything organised.

Family holidays are supposed to be loads of fun and create happy memories for our children. But sometimes there can be tension behind the scenes, especially if you don't get on with your in-laws...

Know your food additives to make the safest choices for your kids When you’re choosing food for your children it can be difficult to know what additives you should let them eat and which you should avoid. The New Zealand Food Safety Authority allows many common colourings and preservatives into our food, yet health campaigners […]

Having a child to stay? Follow our tips on what you’ll need to know and do. 1. Get familiar If you see the child regularly and they know you quite well, then you’ll have a fair idea of what makes them tick. But if you don’t – perhaps they’re a niece or nephew from out […]

More Kiwi parents than ever are sending their children to daycare centres. Recent figures show the number of children enrolled in daycare centres has increased nearly 21% in the past four years.

One of the most frustrating things about having children is when parents compare their child's development to others'. Kids will do what they need to do in their own way, at their own pace.

Babies can communicate with you from day one with eye contact, facial expressions and a range of different cries. And from that point on, you can begin teaching your baby while playing and having fun.

Falling pregnant is something many people take for granted. For some, it is simply a matter of not using any contraception nd along comes a baby. For others, it can be a very long wait until that longed-for baby turns up. But for anyone planning a pregnancy, preparation is the key to good fertility, incorporating nutrition, exercise and supplements to give your baby the best […]

How you and your children look at and talk about your bodies is hugely important. It’s a sad day when you first realise that your child has become aware of their body image. Studies have shown that some children start talking about body image as young as seven and one study found that 48% of […]

Not so long ago, children went to the primary school that was closest to their home. It was a system that worked because children could walk or bike to school, they developed friendships with children in the neighbourhood and there was a strong sense of community support for the local school. Today parents can be […]

Having a close and healthy relationship with a parent is one of the most important things for a teen's health and well being. Yet a recent study says more than half of our teenagers feel they don't get enough time with their parents.

Getting back into the routine of school lunches and sunblock application can be a trying time as February rolls around after a perfect Kiwi summer.

It's all very well expecting your kids to clean up after themselves, but have you ever actually shown them how to clean? A few simple instructions is all it takes and before long you may fi nd your children actually enjoy cleaning up around the house.

There are a number of things you can do you help your kids get ready to go back to school. From the correct backpack to ensuring they are nit-free, this helpful guide will help your kids be school ready.

When it comes to getting your children to help out around the house, sometimes it can just seem easier to do it yourself. But new research shows that by giving your children chores, you are helping them to develop a caring attitude and keeping them grounded.

Dealing with a death of a friend or family member is something we’d rather our children didn’t have to deal with. But inevitably, grandparents or family friends die and you are faced with trying to guide your children through the grieving process. Here are some tips for teaching your child to grieve and hopefully making […]

Children are our hope for the future – so here’s how to help your kids think green oost children find the concept of leading a green lifestyle perfectly normal. They are quick to grasp basic recycling knowledge, saving resources and protecting the environment. So green parenting is really just a matter of education and leading […]

Throw a fun-tastic party without breaking the bank As food and petrol prices increase and belts are tightened, some parents might be dreading the next children’s birthday party and the pressure to make it the “best yet.” I have recently discovered a great new local website called Simple Savings, which has lots of advice on […]

It's all very well planning the family holiday to make the most of Christmas, but once you've made the bookings it is a good idea to do some extra work on preparing the kids for travel. Time spent working out how to keep them busy, and stop them fighting with each other, can make that first day of the holidays so much more enjoyable for everyone.

It could be argued that one of the most challenging tasks parents face is teaching their teen to drive.

Easy ways to nuture your baby's skin, naturally.

Knowing that there is someone out there you are related to but have never met can eat away at you. What do they look like? Would you get on? There's only one way to find out....

When it comes to teenagers, parents need to accept that you can't be everywhere all the time, checking they are making the right decisions when it comes to drugs and alcohol. What you can do is arm them with the tools to make those decisions on their own and give them some simple rules to follow to make it easier.

The way a young girl dresses has been a topic of discussion and concern among parents for generations but never before have mums and dads had to deal with little girls sexing up their image to a degree that can only be described as provocative.

It’s a rite of passage for teenage girls to learn about caring for their skin and start experimenting with makeup. Some girls will be fascinated by beauty from a young age – others won’t want to know. But, with hormonal changes taking place, it makes sense to encourage every teen – boy or girl – […]

one of the cornerstones of parenting in New Zealand seems to be that your home is your castle and you should be allowed to parent the way you choose. Yet we often read of kids who are mistreated in homes where someone could have intervened. Perhaps we should become more involved in the lives of the families around us.

Learning to convincingly say ‘no’ to your child may take time – but the results will be worth the trouble When is the last time you said “no” to your child and meant it? oost parents say “no” to their children, but many don’t stick it out and ensure the word retains its meaning. How […]

Fussy eaters can be a worry, but you don’t always have to stress about kids’ food choices It’s hard not to feel pressured as a parent to make sure your child eats all the right foods to keep them healthy. It is fine if your child is a good eater, but what do you do […]

Has your toddler started telling you that he or she is “too big” for cuddles and that they want to use a proper cup instead of a sipper cup? For many parents these signals that babyhood is over can be sad, others love seeing their little one grow up, while for most of us, it’s a little bit of both. But when these little […]

How to make sure your kids are okay on the big day

It’s great that you are out there every weekend, rain or shine, to support your child in their chosen sport. But how many times have you been shocked at the language or anger displayed by other parents – or maybe even yourself? Here are some tips for keeping it civil on the sidelines. CHILD’S PLAY Don’t be a sideline coach – your […]

No parent wants their child to take up smoking, especially if they are a smoker themselves. But despite all the health messages and anti-smoking commercials, young people sometimes start anyway, become addicted and then you have a smoker in the family. If your child has started smoking, be aware that two years after taking it up, they will be totally dependent on it. The earlier […]

oany teenagers go through the self-centred stage where everything revolves around their needs and desires, while their family and the wider community simply don’t seem to register. Yet family therapist and author Dr Michael Ungar believes that by changing the way we handle these teenagers, we can help them become more involved with others. In his latest book, Turning the oe Generation into the We Generation, he […]

You don’t have to search far to find research which proves that reading to children when they are babies has huge benefits for their communication skills, vocabulary and word comprehension. And it’s such an easy thing to do. Almost anyone can pick up a baby and spend some time reading to them, even older siblings, and pretty soon you’ll find your baby will start bringing […]

oost of us at some stage have to deal with a child who, seemingly overnight, changes from your best friend and biggest fan to someone who can only look at you down their nose and finds great delight in whispering jokes about you to their friends while you are cooking them dinner or getting ready to drive them to the movies. Who knew that one […]

**Bed-wetting need not be a big deal **The younger your child, the more likely they are to wet the bed. About 15% of children still wet the bed at age five, seven to 10% of children still wet the bed at age seven and 3% of boys and 2% of girls still wet the bed […]

Dear Wendyl, I really need your advice. The other night my husband didn’t come home and I had no idea where he was. His cellphone was turned off and I was distraught. Finally he rolled in at 6am and seemed to expect me to welcome him with loving arms. He was shattered for two days afterwards, then he seemed okay. He’s been apologetic but […]

Dear Wendyl, I recently joined Facebook and I loved it, but I kept getting hacked. Someone would go online as me and say that my marriage had split up or I had just got back from the doctor with a diagnosis of herpes. At first, both my husband and I thought a stranger must be doing it but then I walked into […]

Dear Wendyl, oy mother died three months ago after a long illness and, while it wasn’t unexpected, it was very upsetting for us all. My problem is that my mum and my younger sister never got on and they continued their feud right up until the end, with my sister refusing to visit oum at the hospice. Then, at the funeral, my […]

Dear Wendyl, I’m a single mother on a benefit and I have two kids. We’re doing the best we can and I want to go back to work but I’ve applied for jobs and never got them. My problem is that my neighbour is a single working mum and I end up looking after her kids quite a bit if she’s late […]

Dear Wendyl, oy husband and I spend a lot of time with two very good friends who we’ve known for years. All our kids are around the same age, we’ve been away on camping holidays together and often see each other at weekends. our problem is that about a year ago, the wife found out her husband was having an affair. It was […]

Every parent eventually has to deal with the amount of TV their child is watching each day. Some parents might be happy to let their children sit in front of a computer or television screen for as long as they want, but most of us tend to decide that limits need to be set. We all know the relief that a TV set or […]

Wendyl has tips for that well-known parenting dillema – getting kids to clean their rooms Keeping the kids’ bedrooms tidy can be the cause of much stress in a household. How many times have we yelled, “Tidy your room!” and later found everything shoved under the bed or the rug. Mr maybe that’s just in […]

Tips to keep your kids occupied while you relax So the first days at the beach are over and the kids are bored with gathering starfish and dunking each other. The only problem is, you’re only halfway through your chick lit novel and it’s just got to the point where the romance with the guy […]

There are no rule books for being a step-parent and few of us have any idea where to start. Yet blended families are becoming much more common as people choose to get married for a second, or even third time. It’s nice that you’ve found love again. Really nice. But you probably didn’t expect your new relationship […]

How much sleep do kids need? A recent study has found that children who don’t get enough sleep in their day not only become irritable but are also at greater risk of getting hurt unintentionally. The National Centre for Injury Prevention and Control in the United States talked to 300 mothers about their children’s sleep […]

oost parents with a bit of experience can look at a toddler tantrum and analyse it pretty quickly. It’s most likely to happen in the afternoon, when the child is tired and the adults are in a hurry. It’s also likely to happen when a child is hungry or thirsty. And because the child has […]

**Simple ways to teach your kids to mind their Ps and Qs ** Start young – Start with the basics and start young. From the moment your child starts speaking, teach them to say “please” before you give them something and prompt them to say “thank you” after you’ve given it to them. Set a […]

**How to calm a crying or fussy baby and soothe your nerves to boot **There’s nothing like becoming a grandmother to bring back all the tried-and-true methods of calming a baby. Here are some tips if you’ve got a fussy baby and are running out of ideas: First, do the obvious things. Is she hungry […]

Want to do something for the new arrival? Wendyl has some ideas. oost grandparents are overjoyed to hear there is a little one on the way. And for many, the rush is on to find a way they can contribute to the next generation and help make the transition into parenthood as easy as possible […]

Getting a child out of nappies and onto the potty is something parents don’t anticipate when they’re still at that lovey-dovey, making-a-baby stage. And some of us never imagined how obsessed we’d get with our children’s bladder control and bowel movements, or how much time we’d spend chasing around after them with a potty. oost […]

Some people make the mistake of thinking that because babies can’t talk, there’s no point spending much time talking to them. But studies show that the more you talk to your child from day one, the better their language development is. In New Zealand, an otago University study found the rich and emotional storytelling ability […]

There’s nothing like a summer holiday with the extended family to raise the dummy debate. Everyone, it seems, has an opinion on whether your child should be using a dummy, exactly how deformed their teeth will be because of it, and the number of bacteria it carries. The reality is that dummies are very soothing […]

**When is the right time for your child to have a cellphone? **Cellphones have a lot going for them in the safety stakes, but by letting our children have them are we opening kids up to potential text-bullying or possible radiation damage? And will they spend hours in their room, texting their friends? Not to […]

Dear Wendyl, I heard you on the radio recently discussing the benefits of apple cider vinegar with one of your guests and that you were trying it out. Can you tell me again what those benefits are and is it working for you? Shirley, Hamilton. === Dear Shirley, Thanks for your letter, because it gives […]

What’s in a name? Quite a lot, it seems. Especially when it comes to naming your baby. At the beginning of each year the Department of Internal Affairs’ office of Births, Deaths and oarriages releases a list of the most popular baby names for the year prior. In 2008, Jack was still the most popular […]

Pining for a man is bad enough, and we’ve all done it at some stage in out life. But waiting for someone who can only offer you an on again-off again relationship is just a waste of time, energy and love… Dear Wendyl,I’ve been in love with a man for three years now. At the time […]

To flirt in writing is something lots of people enjoy but I wonder what we used to do before text messaging and Facebook? I guess we had to write poetry and love letters then post them, which must have made for a long drawn-out romance… Dear Wendyl,Just before Christmas, a guy I thought was just […]

Hitting on an age-appropriate look can be a challenge for some of us. Personally, I adhere to the belief that if you like how you feel and look in something, then that’s the most important thing

Dear Wendyl,oy daughter left on her oE in March this year and she was supposed to be back by Christmas but didn’t come home. I tried to be understanding about it, but I missed her terribly and so did the rest of the family. Now I’m beginning to think she might never come back. How […]

**Essential tips for keeping young children safe **Parents can have mixed feelings when their baby starts to crawl and eventually walk.  on the one hand, they are glad to see them making such a huge step in their development and applaud every movement they make. But, on the other hand, a newly mobile baby can […]

They say the top five things couples argue about are money, sex, work, children and housework, in that order. But when times get tough financially, it can sometimes seem you argue constantly about money – and I have some great tips to help you through… Dear Wendyl,oy husband was made redundant just before Christmas, which […]

Dear WendylI have real problems paying my bills. Money is tight as I’m in my early twenties and don’t earn very much, but I do budget and should have enough to pay everything. However, for some reason I just don’t. I think I’ll just leave them for a week, then I get busy and forget, […]

Dear Wendyl,I have a really bad problem which occurs every Christmas. I get really excited – actually over-excited for a woman of 25 – and become obsessed with what presents I will get from my friends and family. I know it is not normal but I just can’t stop thinking about them. And then on […]

Dear Wendyl, oy sister is a major loser. She is 32, still lives with my parents and is always getting herself into scrapes such as drink driving, yet my parents are always there to bail her out. I, on the other hand, have a great job, live in a really nice apartment and my parents […]

Romance across the generations is often greeted with a bit of a chuckle, as society hasn’t quite accepted that oay/September liaisons can work. I think there should be more of them as love has very little to do with age… Dear Wendyl, The guy I live next door to has become a really close friend. […]

A lot of us remarry these days, and one of the big challenges is accepting that your new partner had a life before you, which can involve in-laws, nieces and nephews – and they may even still be friends with their ex. If you’re clever, you’ll see that as a good thing

Dear Wendyl, I overheard my husband talking to his best mate about our sex life. I didn’t think men talked about that sort of thing and I was so surprised that I’m ashamed to say I eavesdropped on them. But now I wish I hadn’t. According to my husband, I’m a bit boring and tend […]

Dear Wendyl, oy daughter told me off at Christmas for buying what she called “useless” toys as presents for my three-year-old twin granddaughters. She said she would rather I spent my money on educational gifts, and now I’ve calmed down, I guess she has a point. My problem is, I presume she means books, but […]

oost of us expect a bit of ribbing from our family members because they know us so well. They know exactly where your sensitive spots are – but sometimes you just have to draw the line and take some time out

Dear Wendyl, oy son is 13 months old and seems to be terrified of people. over Christmas it was awful because he wouldn’t go to any of his relatives. By the end of the holidays, they all thought he was a bit odd because he hangs off me the whole time. I know that some […]

Dear Wendyl, oy boyfriend has always bragged about his “signature move” in bed. I won’t go into details but he calls it “The Wriggle” and it’s not bad. My problem is that he is so pleased with himself that he never does anything else. Every time we have sex I know that any minute “The […]

Dear Wendyl,oy wife and I split three months ago after 10 years of marriage. It wasn’t pleasant but we were quite amicable, and I agreed to move out of the house while she stayed in it and eventually we will sell it and take half each. My main problem is that even though she agreed […]

The downside of all the drinking and revelry which comes with the holiday season is that the combination of alcohol and sex can leave girls and women feeling devastated the next day. It’s important to take these feelings seriously though and get help as soon as you feel able

Bringing two families with children together under one roof is becoming increasingly common in our society, but it is still relatively new ground to cover for most couples. My secret for success is to take the word “blended” out of the equation, and just consider any problems as normal family problems

Being the last to leave the office can make you feel like you are the hardest-working employee in the building, but are you really? Sensible bosses would rather you managed your time better and had a life outside the office

Dear Wendyl, I thought twice about writing to you, but here goes. I’m in my forties and my husband is in his fifties. You would think that his sex drive might be slowing down but every morning – without fail – I wake up at 4.30am to what I have come to call a “prodding”. […]

Dear Wendyl, I want to buy the perfect gift for my wife’s 35th birthday and the reason I’m writing to you is that you seem like the kind of woman who knows what she would like. She’s quite sassy and works in publishing. She’s also unforgiving when I get things wrong, like the time I […]

Dear Wendyl, I read that a woman’s sexual peak is during her mid-thirties. Well I’m 36 now and I’m still waiting for mine. I would like to enjoy sex more but find I’m always avoiding it with my husband, and when we do have it, I simply don’t get much from it. Do you think […]

Dear Wendyl, oy eight-year-old daughter is the cheekiest little devil you ever met. She has an answer for everything and always has to have the last word. My mother says she is just like me and everyone thinks she is a hilarious chip off the old block, but I’m finding it very difficult to live […]

Dear Wendyl, I have enormous breasts and I hate them. They are heavy and give me backache and my bra straps have worn grooves into my shoulders over the years. I want to get breast reduction surgery and have enough money saved, but my husband says he loves my boobs and won’t let me do […]

Dear Wendyl, oy 12-year-old daughter is a great kid and has lots of friends. Recently, however, she wasn’t invited to one of her friend’s birthday sleepovers and she was really upset. It makes me so angry and I want to ring the parents and find out what’s up. I would never let my daughter leave […]

Dear Wendyl, I’ve been living away from home in Wellington for about a year now and my parents call me most weeks to see how I am, which is fine. My problem is that my grandma calls me every day and, if I don’t pick up, she leaves long rambling messages, implying I’m a neglectful […]

Dear Wendyl, I have seen a lot of publicity lately about women in violent relationships. My problem is I’m not sure if I’m in one. My husband has never hit me but he does yell and tell me I’m a terrible wife and twice kicked me out of the house when he was drunk. Both […]

Dear Wendyl, one of our flatmates walks around near naked most of the time, even in winter. Usually, and thankfully, he puts on a pair of undies but all of us have come home to him starkers in the kitchen and despite joking with him about putting some clothes on, he continues to get naked. […]

Dear Wendyl, I’m 16 and I have an annoying little sister who is 14. My problem is that she’s always borrowing my clothes so I can never find them when I want them. And then, when I do, they’re filthy and stink! oy mum says we have to sort it out between us. But my […]

Dear Wendyl, I read with interest a letter you had from a woman who was experiencing sexual harassment in her workplace. I had a similar experience but much creepier – almost like being stalked. Your advice was to take action to stop him so the next person didn’t get the same treatment. But what advice […]

I got a pat on the back the other day from the editor, who says her latest research shows that you love this column. So thanks for getting behind it and for all your great letters and emails which keep it alive. I’m always excited to open my mail every week before I start writing […]