As any parent who spends long hours at home with small children will know, getting 15 precious minutes to shower alone can make the difference between having a good day and a not-so-good day.
So on Monday Australian mum Laura Mazza made the call that she would duck into the bathroom and leave her toddlers playing in the lounge. She’d only be 15 minutes. What could possibly go wrong?
The decision turned out to be catastrophic. When the Sydney-based mum of two emerged from the shower she was hit by the smell of “manure”.
And upon walking down the hall to investigate she discovered that not one but both her children were huddled together in her lounge happily smearing one another with poo.
She posted her story on Facebook and, not surprisingly, it has gone viral.
The image of her horrified face says it all but her words are just as funny as she describes the revolting scene she walks in on:
“I see them both, huddled over something, smearing it on their bodies and laughing and licking their hands, chocolate sauce? Please Jesus let it be chocolate sauce.
“I stepped slowly as if walking down the aisle of marriage to my doom…. and waiting for me down the valley of the shadow of death was a nappy. Not just any nappy… A nappy full of nightmares, corn, and blueberries. IT WAS FULL OF AN AVALANCHE OF SHIT.”
Laura’s daughter Sofia had taken off her nappy and decorated everything in sight with its contents.
“And mate, was she satisfied,” Laura continues in her post. “And her brother, a willing accomplice to the potty party.
“50 short vomits in my mouth, a whole lot of bleach, and an exorcism and I think the house now looks back to normal. Not the way you wanna go when your house is FOR SALE!!!”
She concludes with these bleak words: “This is why I don’t take ‘me time’ because when I do, I’m left with empty dreams and a handful of shit.”
Ah, sweet motherhood.
