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Married man blues

Dear Wendyl, I have been seeing K for some months and he wants us to have a future together but he is still living with his wife. He says he loves her as the mother of their grown children, but is not in love with her, and he is only there out of habit. I had a bad marriage that has left me with self-doubt and no self-esteem. I am in love with K and when we can be together we are so happy. But how do I get over my insecurities and move on to a happy life? R, Timaru

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Dear R, I’m not sure a man who stays with a woman he doesn’t love out of “habit” is the right guy to help you with your insecurities. If this man was serious about you, surely he would leave his wife and then ask you to be in his life – not the other way around. Please do not get any more involved until you have done some work on your self-esteem issues.

Give Relationship Services a call on 0800 RELATE or go online at www.relate.org.nz and have a few sessions with one of their counsellors. Then tell K he can have you the minute he is a free man and not one second before. If he respects you and is serious about you, he’ll do it.

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