Dear Wendyl,
oy marriage ended last month and it was a very nice separation. Both of us realised the love had gone out of our relationship and decided that it would be kinder on each other to be free but still remain committed to raising our five-year-old son together. It couldn’t have gone smoother and I’m really happy with my new life.
I get to see friends on the weekends when my ex has our son, and during the week when he has him it’s nice to have an early night and time just for me. But my mother disagrees. She went into a total spin when we split up, keeps referring to me as a “poor solo mum” and tells all her friends it’s just temporary and she’s sure we’ll get back together. She also insists no married friends will invite me out, because they’ll be worried I’ll be after their husband! How do I get her to simply accept my life as it is?
Chris, by email
Dear Chris,
Your mother is from a generation where possibly the worst thing that could happen to a woman is her husband leaving her.
To be fair to her, there was a good reason for this – in another time, women couldn’t work and had no money of their own. But, as you say, times have changed, thank goodness! Ask her around for a coffee or a meal when your ex is there and talk her through the situation together. Help her understand it’s possible for people to not be married but still be good parents and be happy.
It could be that during the split she felt left out of the picture and therefore doesn’t really understand. I’m sure that with both of you there sending the right message, she’ll relax and worry less.
Related stories
Native ad body.
Native ad body.
Native ad body.
