**Arm your teens with the tools to make the right decisions about drugs and alcohol
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When it comes to teenagers, parents need to accept that you can’t be everywhere all the time, checking they are making the right decisions when it comes to drugs and alcohol. What you can do is arm them with the tools to make those decisions on their own and give them some simple rules to follow to make it easier. Here are some tips for coping with your teens this summer:
Talk to your teens about the consequences of drinking and doing drugs. They will have had the DARE Skills for Life programme through their schools but talk about your own experiences too, and how you might have made better decisions as a teenager, as well as the dangers of losing control, especially for girls at risk of rape.
Establish fair rules for your family. Depending on their age, is it okay for them to have one or two drinks a night? Should they only drink when they are with you or at a family event? Discuss with your children what they think is fair and accommodate their thoughts and experiences into the rule making.
If you are okay about them having some drinks, then make sure that they are doing it at a supervised party where there are parents or responsible adults.
If you expect your teen to say “no” when they are out, then arm them with a way of saying it, such as “I don’t like the taste of beer” or “I’m driving so I can’t” or “I don’t like the way that makes me feel.”
Teach them how to walk away from a situation if they feel uncomfortable. Can they phone you at any time and ask you to pick them up? Can you give them taxi money to make sure they can get home if they are in a difficult situation? Do they have a close buddy who will look after them – and vice versa -if things get hard?
Give them a firm curfew. Ask around other parents in their social group and see what time they’re all setting so your child isn’t the one who has to leave an hour before everyone else. Set a consequence for your child if that curfew is broken – andstick to it. Don’t give in and give them a second chance. They need to prove to you that you can trust them.
At the same time, teach them that freedom comes with responsibility, so if they are meeting their curfew regularly, allow them to make it later.
Tell them often that you trust them to make the right decisions when they are out. A teenager who leaves the house with parents expecting them to get into trouble will often do just that. on the other hand, a teenager who feels trusted and respected will often live up to that positive expectation.
Have a “no questions asked” policy if they need you late at night. You don’t want them not calling you to pick them up because they’ll get in trouble for what they did. You want them to be safe.
Encourage them to talk to you about concerns they may be having. To do this, you can’t be judgmental or discipline them for what they have told you, even if you are a little shocked. You need to work with them to prevent it happening again and talk through some scenarios that might have changed the situation for the better.
Teach your teen to be a good friend and to never leave a drunk or sick friend alone.
Realise that even the best behaved and most sensible teenagers make mistakes. See the mistakes for what they are – a lesson – not as evidence that your child is going off the rails.
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